Hey guys, I know I've been away for a few days...one of my favorite people, my Aunt Nancy, passed away late last week and it hit me kinda hard. I took a few days just to grieve and try to make peace with her death.

I don't want to dwell on it though, I wanna get back into the swing of things and start blogging again!

I'm currently reading the book The Feminine Mistake: Are We Giving Up Too Much by Leslie Bennetts and even though I haven't yet reached the halfway mark, I am totally engrossed!

This book explores the whole SAHM (stay-at-home-mom) phenomenon from a fresh, HONEST perspective. It is clearly anti-SAHM and I love that.

The author puts into words what I have ALWAYS felt about mom's who stay at home full-time.

Not only is it irresponsible, it's also a very short-sighted choice. I hear and read the viewpoints of SAHM's and ALL I hear is how they "want to be home with their children", or how they don't want "a stranger" taking of their kid while they're at work. It's the same repetitive spiel over and over. On the surface the argument sounds heartfelt but wanna know what I think? IT'S ALL BULLSHIT.

The reason women choose not to work once they have a child is not SOLELY based on their desire to be with their kid. This book opened my eyes to that. Most all of the women who end up quitting their jobs to be a SAHM are unhappy and unfulfilled in their careers and the baby is their excuse to quit a job they didn't enjoy in the first place.

Women who are in jobs that fulfill them professionally, and enjoy their work at a basic level do not quit to become SAHM's. These women feel that their job makes them better and happier as a person and in turn better and happier as a mother so they continue to work.

In talking to my own mom, this is pretty clear. She loves her work, she's very successful and accomplished and she never once considered being a SAHM.

I love that about her! I have to be honest. What makes me respect my mom at the most basic level is that she continued to cultivate and develop a professional career rather than staying home and catering to the childish whims of my brother and I. I'm 5 and a half years older than my little brother (he's 21), and looking back on my childhood, I realize that the fact that my mom worked made me SUCH an independent, self-sufficient child.

Mommy was NOT at home helping me do everything and hovering over me all the time and that most definitely helped me develop into an independent person.

Not to mention, once I was in my teens I really looked up to my mom. She was so smart, she made an excellent living, she multi-tasked her home and work duties efficiently, and she was a terrific role model for me. Watching her make her own way in the professional world inspired me. Her having a career, made me respect her MORE than had she simply stayed home and took a passive role in her life. Growing up, I had plenty of friends with SAHM's (went to private schools and the SAHM thing is pretty prevalent I've noticed) and they seemed so LAZY and boring. To me, they had no lives. No accomplishments aside from their children.

I found them to be pathetic and I still do.

Plus, once the kids are school aged and away 8 hours a day, what is there to do? No one spends 8 hours cooking AND cleaning EVERY DAY OF THE WEEK. Gimme a fucking break. I know better than that. It is NOT a full-time job when there are no kids around. Part time at best. Those wasted hours are hours that could be spent securing your lifestyle (and that of the children) and your financial prospects AT WORK!

Unless a woman is independently wealthy without her husband's income, I cannot comprehend the decision to not work. Is that judgmental of me? Hell yeah and I don't give a shit!

I find it so incredibly irresponsible to put not only your own financial stability at the mercy of a spouse, but that of one's child also? How asinine! Anything could happen to put all of your livelihoods at risk! Husband loses his job...WHAT THEN? Husband finds a younger, skinnier, childless chick to bang and decides to divorce you....WHAT THEN? Husband kicks the bucket and only has a small life insurance policy...WHAT THEN?

Do you know how long it takes some of these women to find a good paying job after setbacks like these? It's not as easy as just jumping right back into the workforce the way they wishfully want to believe. Being unemployed for long stretches of time puts you at the bottom in comparison to women with steady work histories. That's the honest truth. Some of these chicks are lucky to get something entry-level!

And what about retirement? Being a SAHM doesn't garner you 401k or IRA options. Also you are screwed in the social security aspect as well. In addition to that, there's no health insurance outside of the husband's so if he leaves...voluntarily or involuntarily, that's out the window as well.

So here you are...took a gamble on being a SAHM and LOST. You have no income, slim job prospects, and no health insurance for yourself or your children.

Wow.

What's worse...this brutal reality or taking your ass to work so you can have your OWN income, health insurance, 401k, and having much better odds of supporting yourself and your child in the event you end up a single parent?

TOUCH CHOICE!

It really, really disturbs me that so many women are so willing to gamble with their lives and the lives of their kids this way.

This book gives the stories of women who took that same gamble, lost, and never stopped regretting handing their lives over to a spouse. They never put actual thought into the what-if's and ended up paying severely. They just "assumed" it would be "easy" to get a job when they need one, and never prepared for the worst. No plan B, no nothing.

Fucking dumbasses.

Oh and before I forget, let me give the other popular argument from SAHM's..."because childcare is so expensive, it wouldn't pay for me to work."

Yeah, I call bullshit and so does the author of this book. To quote her: "This argument completely fails to take into account the long-term development of any worker's earning's potential. Your own career is an investment you make IN YOURSELF- one that-unless it is interrupted or derailed-will pay dividends throughout your life.

Some benefits are financial, some are intellectual or creative, and others involve different kinds of personal growth. If you devote yourself to supporting your husband's career, all of those dividends belong to HIM-as does the career itself. Ultimately, it's his asset, not yours. The harsh truth is that a dependent wife spends her life enhancing an asset that, in the end, may not even belong to her. This makes about as much sense as putting millions of dollar's worth of renovations into a house you don't even own."

AMEN SISTER!

God I love this book.

How jarringly true though! Putting so much effort into something that doesn't really belong to you and may not benefit you in the event you end up alone. Why are they so reckless with their lives? It really should be construed as reckless. Look at the divorce rate. These people are giving up their financial and professional livelihood for an institution that has a 50% fail rate.

I can't think of anything more stupid.

My mind is boggled.

Anyway, I don't want to make this too lengthy so I'm going to end this post by thanking my mom. She kicks ass. I am so so proud that she worked hard to be the success that she is, and that she didn't let her career aspirations fall by the wayside to become a third dependent to my dad. I wouldn't be the driven, successful person I am in my job without her example. She worked her ass off at home and at the office for the past 27 years. She has always been THE DRIVER in her life...never simply the passenger, even when it was hard to balance work and family! She is hugely successful in her professional life and she has two awesome kids who love and admire her.

It can be done ladies. Get with the fucking program.