Ahhh...the joys of being a mother.

That is ALL we EVER hear.

Like a broken goddamn record of propaganda.

MOTHERHOOD IS THE BEST THING I'VE EVER DONE!

MY LIFE WASN'T HAPPY, FULFILLING OR COMPLETE UNTIL I HAD KIDS!

YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT REAL LOVE IS UNTIL YOU'VE HAD A BABY!

BECOMING A MOM MADE ME A BETTER PERSON!

Yada, yada, yada.

It's easy for some women to start buying into all of the hype that surrounds having babies.

They're bombarded with every celebrity mom on the planet talking about how much life has changed for the better now that they've become mothers, they're told by every facet of society that motherhood is the BEST thing a woman can EVER DO!, and many begin believing the hysteria.

Talk about a recipe for disaster.

Rarely do we hear the horror stories. Rarely do we hear how motherhood changes your life in very jarring, negative ways. Rarely do we hear tales of regret from women who are suffering through life with their children.

But thanks to the True Mom Confessions website, the dirty laundry is FINALLY being aired.

RAW HONESTY about the suckiness of motherhood!

I read the site regularly and often save some of the confessions just so I can write about them later. After all, there is SO MUCH useful material there!

Here are a few that I've compiled over the last few weeks...


"My children are complete assholes sometimes."

"I'm going to leave. My bag's packed, the note's on the table, and the taxi's already on the way. I hope I never see any of them again; having children was the worst decision I ever made."

"After having my first child, I don't know why anyone would want a child or why they would get pregnant again. I want to give our child up for adoption but my husband would never agree to it."

"I hate kids so much. I don't even really like my own. I care for them, yeah. But I don't really care about them. Whoever said "it's different when they're your own" was most certainly deluded. My sister is childfree, and I am so wildly jealous of her. She has a wonderful, low-stress relationship with her fiancee. They travel. They have so much extra money to spare. She's still skinny and takes care of herself. I would love to swap lives with her."

"I'm generally unhappy being a mom. I don't feel "complete" like so many talk about. Some days I look at my daughter and think "why did I do this?" I do love her. Alot. I just feel like I completely have lost myself."

"My child was a mistake. a huge mistake. I hate my husband for not letting me correct it."

"I often dream about what life would be like if my kids were never born."

"I adore my kids, but I realized today (actually, way before today), I'd be much happier being childless. Thing is, if I hadn't chose motherhood, I would have always "wondered" about it, and that alone would have made me miserable. You can't win."

"I love my baby but if I had to do it all over again, I would not have children. My life was SO much better before. Now I am tired, stressed, have no sex drive, everything revolves around the baby. You would never know, everybody thinks I am a terrific mom. I do take great care of my little girl and love her and do everything for her but inside, I am slowly dying. I miss my old life."

"I love my kids but some days I really feel maybe I shouldn't have had any and just got a couple of dogs instead."

"I don't like this life, I don't like devoting most of my time to whiny children. I dream of the days they will be in school full time. Yet, I only have two and we planned to have four. Am I crazy? Must be, because we will probably still have 'em and I'll pretend like I enjoy it, just like now."

"I love my children, but I need so much more time for myself. Not to do laundry or go to the gym, but just to read and watch TV and create stuff...Of course, I get next to none of this, but I crave it constantly. I am SO BORED with motherhood, even though I know what I'm doing is valuable, and that my children deserve my time and attention. Still, it's KILLING me."

"I'm that mom that wants her kids to go to school are year long. When I hear other moms saying how much they enjoy having their summers with the kids, I think they're crazy as hell."

"My daughter, love her! But OMG!!! she is driving me to drink! She is the whiniest most demanding little egomaniac on this planet! Dear God, where did I go wrong?? Being a mom just plain ass sucks sometimes!"

"I love my baby girl so very much. But...sometimes I regret having her. It's not so much that I regret her, it's more that I miss my life pre-baby. I regret the changes that babies bring. I miss sleep. I've had 5+ months of waking up 4+ times a night and i never get more than 7 hours of sleep total (on a good night). I'm tired of it. I wish i had the old days of sleeping for 10 uninterrupted hours back. I miss good, spontaneous sex. Now the only sex my husband and I have is right before bed- when we are both pretty exhausted and it's always in a rush, because the baby tends to wake up before we're through. Since we are both so tired, it only happens about 3 times a month. I hate that. I miss spending time with my husband. Before the baby we used to do everything together. We'd go out to dinner and a movie 3 times a week, we were constantly cuddling at home, we played video games together. Life was great. Now if i'm lucky i get 1 hug a day, he's usually asleep before i get to bed, we have 5 minutes to talk about our days and that's it. It feels like my daughter is ruining my marriage. I miss doing what I want, when I want. I miss sleeping in the nude, or not wearing a bra if I didn't feel like it. Can't do that now since I'm breastfeeding. I miss my pre-pg body. I absolutely hate what I look like now. I hate myself for feeling this way. I wish I could tell my husband, but he wouldn't understand. I was the one who talked him into having a baby. I was the one who said I wanted it more than anything in the world. How can I tell him that at times I think it's the biggest mistake I've ever made? Yet, when I look into her beautiful peaceful sleeping face, I can't help but thank God for her. I love my baby girl, but I miss the life I had before her. Life is complicated."

How can anyone read stuff like this and not be affected? I certainly am. I know it's one of those situations where they "made their bed, now they have to lie in it", but still...I'm struck by how horrible it must be to be trapped in the institution of motherhood with no way out.

I do feel compassion for these women. My usual vulgar brand of sarcasm takes a back seat to my empathy when I read stuff like this. I can't imagine how horrible it would be to have to live that life everyday.

Do I believe them when they say they "love" their children? Absolutely. I believe loving your kid and HATING parenthood is a dichotomy that many people experience. If I wasn't so self aware and stubborn about my choice to remain childfree, I'm sure I'd be one of those women one day. I can see myself loving my children...but being in total anguish over the role of "mother". I know how bad it would suck. I would hate every minute of it. It would be an absolute nightmare.

I can't thank the anonymous posters on True Mom Confessions enough...for letting us in and being honest about the realities of motherhood.

A few minutes on that site gives me more perspective and insight into my own decision not to have children and I KNOW I am making the RIGHT CHOICE.

Whew!