I figure I can do a post like this once a week. After all they practically write themselves and honestly there are a myriad of reasons why I shouldn't have children.

I'm happy to list them all too...I have no shame.

Here's what I have so far...

I strongly dislike holding babies, it makes my damn arms hurt

I hate poopy diapers

I hate cleaning up after people

Snotty noses make me wanna hurl

I would rather catch VD than be pregnant

My vagina is too precious to me to endure a natural birth

The sound of a baby crying makes me wanna cut my head off

My cats are scared of children

Prolonged exposure to childlike voices causes me extreme stress and annoyance

The Disney Channel, and shows like Spongebob and The Wiggles piss me off and fuck up my mood

I swear a whole whole bunch

I accidentally leave porn in the DVD player

I require an overabundance of silence and "me time"

I don't enjoy looking like a goddamn hag and most of the moms I know look like hags a lot of the time

I like sleeping and not having anyone waking me the fuck up unnecessarily

The only time I enjoy feeding others is when the meal consists of Meow Mix or Cat Chow

When my man comes to visit, we have wild sex all over the house and are pretty much naked round the clock

I don't need a "sitter" every time I wish to leave the house

The thought of having to shuttle little snotlings around from place to place makes me wanna drive my car off a fucking cliff

Babies and children are essentially stupid and have to be taught everything and I don't have time for that shit.