Jiminy Christmas...I was perusing the True Dad Confessions website and found numerous confessions from poor guys who had the pleasure of being in the delivery room during the "miracle" of childbirth and the consensus is: IT FUCKING SUCKED BIG TIME.

Here are a few sob stories...

"I can't bring myself to touch my wife anymore after seeing her tear "down there" and poop on the delivery table."

"I wish I hadn't seen my wife like that in the delivery room. I didn't tell her, but it completely disgusted and terrified me."

"She shit when she was having my baby! No one told me this was going to happen! I'm down there trying to see my first baby being born & then I see this log coming out of her ass! WTF?! "

"I can't bring myself to have sex with my wife after watching my son be born. I am no longer turned on by my wife."

Ugh, how disgusting! These women are just determined to burn the horrifically traumatic memory of their wretched, bloody, shit-infested childbearing fiasco into the memory of their men and scar them for life.

Whatever happened to "mystery"? Remember the good old days when men used to stay in the waiting room? What the hell happened to that?

I would never in a million years take my ass into the birthing room if I was a guy. Ain't no mountain high enough! With all of the potential horrors that could occur in there, you couldn't hand me a fat publishers clearing house sweepstakes check to witness that catastrophe!

Ick!