This isn't really "news" because in the years that I've been blogging, I've come across many a "scientific study" that indicates parents are less happy than people without children. The reason I love to write about these studies is because we live in a culture where the fetishization of motherhood seems to reach new and maddening heights each year.

Each time a celebrity mom gives an interview, she must go on and on about how "HAPPY SHE IS TO BE A MOM! And how it's "THE BEST THING SHE'S EVER DONE!" And how "LIFE WAS MEANINGLESS BEFORE I BECAME A MOM!"

And now we have "mommy blogs" infecting the internet with this same drivel and influencing people to make rash decisions based on someone else's exaggerations.

For cynics like myself, it's easy to read these things, roll my eyes, and turn a page. Pretty words about babies don't have an effect on me. In my daily life, I observe people with their kids and I let those observations shape my view of what parenthood is all about.

Out of all the parents I know, who range from being dirt poor to bringing in hundreds of thousands of dollars a year, on average, most don't seem to be floating around on cloud 9. Parenthood hasn't elevated them to the place of ethereal inner peace and calm that I am striving to get to myself. As a matter of fact, most of the parents I know are just like me but more tired, with more responsibilities and less time to tend to them, more time spent cleaning up after people, more time spent trying to teach someone to behave and act a certain way, and with a lot less disposable income and control over their own life.

So no, I don't look at them with envy and say to myself "Wow, all of these parents I know are so happy and at peace. They have completely convinced me that children are the road to fulfillment! I think I'll get pregnant right away!"

Not to say that they all seem miserable either but are most of them insanely happy about having kids to be obligated to for the next two decades? Not from what I see.

So, as far as I'm concerned the more studies that come out and slay this asinine notion that children make you happy, the better.

I shamelessly post this Newsweek article telling us what we should already know...parents report THEMSELVES to be less happy than the childless.

From the article:

"In Daniel Gilbert's 2006 book "Stumbling on Happiness," the Harvard professor of psychology looks at several studies and concludes that marital satisfaction decreases dramatically after the birth of the first child—and increases only when the last child has left home. He also ascertains that parents are happier grocery shopping and even sleeping than spending time with their kids. Other data cited by 2008's "Gross National Happiness" author, Arthur C. Brooks, finds that parents are about 7 percentage points less likely to report being happy than the childless."

Damn, they'd rather be sleeping or in the grocery line! There's a resounding endorsement of parenthood. They might as well just say:"I would rather be out buying Cheerios and Drano than spending time with my little piss nugget of a child."

Sweet.

7 percentage points "un-happier", while not earth shattering, is still noteworthy. I don't believe it's fully accurate though because parents being interviewed by strangers are not likely to be honest about the fact that they aren't happy as parents. There is a stigma and a massive sense of shame in saying that you are unhappy in your role as a parent. So while 7 percent proves a point, it's probably higher. As one mom in the article stated, "If you admit that kids and parenthood aren't making you happy, it's basically blasphemy,"

Sad but true. The culture of silence surrounding parenthood is wildly disturbing to me. And it's not just silence that deceives us. If only! It's outright dishonesty. People will LIE about how great parenthood is before they will cop to the fact that it's anything but a blissful endeavor.

From Florida State University's Robin Simon, a sociology professor who's conducted several recent parenting studies:

"Parents experience lower levels of emotional well-being, less frequent positive emotions and more frequent negative emotions than their childless peers. In fact, no group of parents—married, single, step or even empty nest—reported significantly greater emotional well-being than people who never had children. It's such a counter intuitive finding because we have these cultural beliefs that children are the key to happiness and a healthy life, and they're not."

Truer words were never spoken. I can't tell you how many blogs I've read of women expressing misery over motherhood. And fathers too for that matter. Many can be found on True Mom and True Dad Confessions, but others are simply out on the web waiting to be discovered and I fully intend to post excerpts and delve more into the topic in the coming days so get ready!