I know my posting has been sporadic but life has been super busy. My new job is great but learning so much new shit is fucking exhausting and daunting. Plus I'm trying to work out regularly and keep up with the other blog as well, along with deciding on a new apartment in North Scottsdale that's closer to work.

I'm tired.

However for the last two days, I've been feverishly planning an exciting trip for later in the year...

I'M GOING TO THE ISLAND OF TURKS AND CAICOS!

Yaaaaaaay!

Do you know how long it's been since I've had a REAL vacation?

Firstly since moving here from the East Coast three years ago, ALL of my vacations have been spent back East visiting my family. I have accumulated almost 60,000 frequent flier miles just from seeing them!

So I've decided that it is HIGH TIME for me to make an excursion elsewhere...to an exotic caribbean island where I can relax and rejuvenate!

But there's a problem.

I cannot find any ADULT only resorts to meet my needs. EVERYTHING is "child friendly".

Goddamn it all to hell.

Reading reviews of resorts on Trip Advisor has been highly frustrating simply because almost every hotel I'm interested in is rated as being "recommended for families with young children".

Why are young children being taken to Turks and Caicos ANYGODDAMNWAY? That is a place for GROWN-UPS!

Why can't parents take their fucking kids to Disney and leave the exotic locations for the adults?

Christ on crutches. People insist on taking their fucktrophies everywhere. Excuse me for wanting to be able to visit a gorgeous island without tripping over little bratleigh and snotface everywhere I fucking go.

Assholes.

And why are hotels such pussies about putting a foot down and saying "This place is for people at least 16 and up" or something along those lines?

Because you know if the resort patrons are bothered by OPK's (other people's kids), the employees of the resort are as well. It's a hassle for everyone involved.

I read numerous resort reviews by assbag, oblivious breeders who said shit like "brought along 18 month old baby and 3 year old, couldn't find child centered activities" and just wanted to give up on the whole thing.

A fucking 18 month old in Turks and Caicos on vacation. Are you serious????

I mean, I assumed that going in November when school is in session was a great way to avoid the crumbsnatcher set but if people are bringing 18 month old babies, that pretty much shoots my plan to hell.

I looked at other places too. Jamaica was an option but EVERYONE goes to Jamaica. I don't wanna go where everyone else goes! But for argument's sake, let's say I decided on Jamaica. They have a Hedonism resort and a Sandals resort, both of which are adult only. Sandals is a no-go because unless my mom or BFF decides to take me up on my offer and come with, I will be going on this trip alone. Sandals is for couples ONLY.

As for Hedonism, that place is for pervs. Don't get me wrong, I'm a lusty lady and all but what I do not want is to be bombarded with nekkid horny people on what I intend to be a relaxing vacation. Sorry, I just don't wanna glance over and have some woman's bare boobs or thonged ass right in my goddamn face. NONE FOR ME, THANKS!

Ugh or some 50 year old pale man in a speedo or NOT in a speedo. Ewww saggy balls in my face YUCK! BLARGH!!!! NO NO NO.

Why can't I just find a nice resort for mature adults of various age ranges, that isn't hopping with snot monsters, and isn't crawling with pervs? Is that too much to fucking ask???

Clearly it is.

I'll keep searching I guess...