I wanted to post today to get some observations from my CF readers about the people in their lives that are married and have children.

As I have stated before, one of the biggest deterrents for me, with regard to having children is the fact that most of the people I know with kids seem unhappier and more worse for wear after parenthood. Worse for wear financially, mentally, energy-wise, etc. In addition to that, I know hardly any fathers that genuinely do their fair share in the home or with their children. Parenthood is generally not an equal endeavor for men and women which is another reason I find it unattractive.

I found myself thinking of one of my girlfriends back East who has been HAPPILY married for 10 years and has two young children whom she adores.

Even as a CF person, I will fully admit that having known her before marriage and children, she is positively a happier, more fulfilled person after getting married and becoming a mother. She was a sweet, cheerful, warm person before, but she is definitely happier as a wife and mother. I CAN'T SAY THIS ABOUT ANYONE ELSE! Isn't that sad?

Maybe it helps that she and her husband have about a half a million dollars in income, were over 30 and successful career people BEFORE they had children, and are very mature, responsible people who put most of their effort into each other and their kids. They were married for a few years and traveled extensively before having kids and had a plan on WHEN they would bring children into their lives. It wasn't a willy nilly, "happy accident" type of deal.

Her husband - get ready for this - takes on an EQUAL role in the upkeep of their home and the raising of their children. And I don't mean equal as in, he does 30% (which is what so many men would probably deem to be "equal"), I mean a solid 50% of all of the housework and child-rearing. Unlike most of the women I know with kids, she is NOT the primary care-taker of her children. Her hubby is reliable and happy to do as much as she does with regard to their kids and this, I believe, is the reason she is so fulfilled in her wife/mother role.

Honestly, they have it together more than any two married, childed people I know. Their children (ages 7 and 8) are intelligent, compassionate, well-behaved, and not at all unpleasant to be around if you're a CF person with a low tolerance for kids (like myself). As a family, plain and simple, they are a pleasure to engage with and I can say this about almost no one else.

Now obviously, this is me looking at their life and marriage from the outside in, but still out of everyone I know and observe, they are THE EXCEPTION and not the rule when it comes to happily married couples who seem to be truly fulfilled as parents.

I really would like to gauge the observations of my readers…how many people, who are married with kids, do you know who maintain a lifestyle similar to this who seem genuinely equal and happy as parents and spouses? Where the parents are EQUAL in their roles and no one is disgruntled about inequalities in the relationship (because from what I read, this is the main reason two thirds of the divorces in this country are filed by women), and their children are not bratty little assholes who complicate their lives and relationship.

Happily married with kids...who do you know???