Dear Gawd Almighty, I just saw the most ridiculous documentary in the history of the entire world.

It's called Nursery University and is currently airing on Showtime (it's also available on Netflix).

Set in Manhattan, we're introduced to the world of privileged, status-obsessed breeders desperately angling to get their children into the elite nursery school of their dreams.

Honestly 90% of the parents in the film are insufferable, oblivious, entitled breeders who think if their snotlings don't get into "Over-rated, Over-Priced Preschool School For The Haughty & Pretentious", their three-year-old is doomed to a life of mediocrity.

I won't go into a detailed account of the horrors I witnessed but here are a few highlights:

*One preschool charges a whopping $20,000 in tuition. Twenty thousand dollars for one year or school for a goddamn 3-year-old. What the shit?

*In order to prepare for the "grueling" application and screening process, many of these parents opt to hire a "Preschool Admissions Consultant" to help them "navigate the process". The fee charged by said admissions consultant? $4,000.

*Parents are seen CRYING at the prospect of not getting their child into the school of their choice, applying to a range of schools based on desire along with "safety schools" that they feel will be the easiest to get into, and visiting schools in person to deliver "first choice letters of intent". WHAT?? THIS IS PRESCHOOL NOT PRINCETON!

*The very day after Labor Day is when you're to begin "outreach", which entails calling every school of your choice to request an application. Let me tell you, the phones at these places were constantly busy, with parents calling 20-30 times in a row just to get through. Jesus Christ on a pogo stick.

I am positively dumbfounded at how petty and desperate these people are. This is two and three-year-olds who are going to be playing with blocks all fucking day long. Why the fuck would you waste $20k on this? We are in a recession bastards!

I'd really like to know what these people have planned for college. Gawd forbid their financial situation turns precarious in the next 15 years. What happens when another Bernie Madoff comes and rips everyone off? Methinks these assclowns will cringe to look back and see they flushed twenty grand down the toilet for preschool (which consisted of cookies, nap times, and coloring) and now have no money to pay for little "Juliana's" college education.