Because people have requested I write about this, I will accept the challenge!

The bitch who had octuplets is batshit fucking crazy.

Her mother claims she is obsessed with children.

How can you not love it. Someone obsessed with children who lives with her parents, and is already a single parent of six kids.

You know what image comes into my mind when I hear that someone is "obsessed with children"? Someone who spends significant amounts of time and money HELPING needy kids. Children's charities, engaging in child outreach at places like "Big Brothers and Sisters", maybe even someone who fosters or adopts children who need loving homes.

Why do I think that way? Because I am someone who has been accused of being "obsessed with animals". I give monthly donations to the ASPCA and The Humane Society, have taken stray animals to the vet more than once in my lifetime, feed any stray cat that ends up on my doorstep, etc. My own two cats are former strays because I am strongly against the buying and selling of animals at pet stores and breeders. Sure I LOVE the new designer breeds of cats that are out now but not enough to bypass a needy one off the street to patronize some animal seller!

OK maybe I am a bit obsessed with animals after going through all that but the point is, someone obsessed with children or animals or any other living thing that needs support is someone who champions a cause and is compelled to do good things for that cause. Not someone whose own self indulgent desires override basic values and compassion.

Someone who pops out 14 kids is not obsessed with children. She's obsessed with procreating and she's obsessed with her own reproductive abilities, but obsessed with children, she is not. If that were the case she'd be doing something about all of the children already in the world who are dying for a mother.

I find her disgusting, I think she's a cunt muffin and I'm sick of people who claim to love children but don't man or woman up to the cause of helping those who are already here. If you LOVE children so much you can have more than 6, why don't you fucking adopt?

This hobag's mom claimed she just wanted to "try for another girl". Um, there are plenty of girls that need adopted you breeding assbag. You can afford to get 8 embryos implanted (FYI for those who don't know- in vitro can cost upwards of $25k) but you can't afford to adopt one little girl?

PLUS, you have 6 fucking kids already anyway and you live with your mom!!! What would compel someone like this to spend thousands on in vitro?

How about getting a place for you and your fifty eleven kids???? BITCH GET YOUR OWN APARTMENT! START WITH THAT!

What kind of fucked up priorities are people having these days?

I can just imagine this twat waffle saying to herself: "I know I already have little Emma, Madison, Jacob, Snotley, Bratley, Pissant, etc, etc, and we don't have our own place, and I'm a single parent, and my dad's in Iraq so it's just my mom helping with the kids, and the kids don't have a father (they are all from a sperm donor) but if only I could have another little girl I'd be happy!!!!!

It simply does not fucking compute.

As a childfree person trying to imagine just how demanding and unpleasant my life would be if I had kids, I often wonder just what the WORST part of being a parent is. Out of everything I find nightmarish and unappealing, what's the absolute worst part?

Here's a list I came up with, feel free to voice your opinion on what would be the worst for you or anything I may have left off and add to it in the comments.

*Losing your figure during pregnancy and struggling to get the pre-pregnancy body back (FEMALE)

*Having less desire for your partner or diminished sex drive after the arrival of a child (MALE and FEMALE)

*Having ruined, dilapidated nether regions (FEMALE)

*Mourning the loss of private time

*The bond between yourself and your partner weakening due to less time available to focus on one another

*The guilt of not wanting to spend the majority of your time doing mundane parental tasks

*The frustration that your child doesn't behave the way you want it to

*The lack of control you have over your schedule and the impossibility of coming and going as you please

*The financial demands that come with having a child

*The expectations of society and others on how you should parent/raise your child

*The lack of childcare resources available not just to allow you to work, but also when you "need a break" or would like to do something social

*The knowledge that your child probably won't be fully independent at 18 and your full parental obligation could drag on much longer

*Keeping up the "I'm amazingly happy as a parent!!!" facade

*Personal disappointment in the kind of person your child is becoming/has become

Thoughts?

The quotes from this post have been taken from sites across the web. I won't be linking to them for privacy reasons but if you'd like to visit any of them, shoot me an email and I'll provide you with the link.

Where they came from isn't as important as the message they convey. The truths that other woman reveal about the harsh realities motherhood are a gift! This kind of honesty should do more than just "scare" women away from motherhood. Hell I don't care about scaring people, I just want women to THINK and be mentally prepared for what goes with mommyhood. I am so over robotic, thoughtless breeding.

I honestly think that if more people read stuff like this and took more than 5 fucking seconds to fully and thoughtfully THINK about whether parenthood is a worthwhile endeavor for them, more than half wouldn't go through with it. Why? Because it presents an image many people don't expect and haven't fathomed.

Those who expect that parenthood will have lots of shitty, desperately miserable moments, are lot less disillusioned with it once they go through it. I simply don't believe most people go into parenthood expecting it to be as bad as it often is. So you know what, they need to hear it, see it, start feeling it and THEN decide whether it's a good idea for them or not.

Onto the quotes...

"Why is it that we are conned into thinking that motherhood is a blissful, satisfying, and rewarding blessing? I attend a mothers group for young mothers and the other day one of the social workers asked..."Who hates being a mom?" Everyone looked at each other as if they were afraid of the question and that admitting to it is a mortal sin. My hand shot up. After a year of being a mother I can't hate it more. It just prevents me being truly happy. "

"I thought that once I had the baby I would love being a mother and a wife. The truth is I hate it. I couldn't love my child anymore, his smile touches a part of my heart that no one else can, but I don't like being his mother.
It is just a burden I don't want to deal with at this point of my life. The feeding, the changing, the constant neediness, which I know will perpetuate until the day I die. I decided to breastfeed him and still do and regret every day I decided to do this. It has been 14mo since he was born and I still have no ownership of my body. I have tried to ween him, but he become unbearable."

"I have two children, 5 years and 22 months, and god they fight and scream at each other. My 5 year old just doesn't listen to anything we say. Everything revolves around them, the house, the wife, the mother. But what about ME!!! God I agree with one of the comments about people moaning about 30 minute lunch break, what a blooming luxury. We are doing the smiley faces, the sad faces and point charts and nothing seems to bother our 5 year old. She just doesn't listen. Then the media has a nerve to blame the parents, well crap because we are doing everything we can and nothing is working. I honestly don't know what to do! I just don't cope with stress and really wonder why the hell I ever went in for children.

Don't get me wrong I love them to bits and want them to be good kids and not be affected by any of this when they are older. But it does worry me! It's constant negotiating over everything, WHEN will it get better, because I am really unhappy at the moment!"

"I have a 18 month and a 2 month old and i am so depressed, overwhelmed, anxious and upset. and no, its not ppd - its the fact that i know this isn't going to get better until they are school aged. I dont even have enough time to type this because my kids are waking up at this unholy hour of 6:45. This is not what i expected it to be like. they are taking everything out of me."

"I'm a 27 year old mother of two, ages 10 months and 23 months. Most of the time I walk around in a daze, hoping people don't notice the snot wiped on my coat or the bags under my eyes. I feel ancient, decrepit, what's worse is that my husband is successful and interesting. I had ambition once to write and be taken seriously, but now I'm just useless. I have a college degree, but can't even imagine now how I would go about writing an essay, how to engage in a conversation about anything other than poop and teething.

I hate my body and I hate what I've become. I too live far from family and friends as we've relocated for my husband's career. I've no babysitter, no relatives, no one to talk to but my children who can't speak yet. I don't see any way out of this gilded cage of a life. Today, and most days, I hate being a mother... we're treated worse than animals. What will become of us?"

"It's not everyday that I hate being a mother. Just most days. I realize that I did this to myself and I have to "do my time". But this is overwhelming sometimes. I feel so held back, stressed out, irritated and depressed by this whole thing. I am literally counting down the days until she leaves to go to college. 2,800 days. I feel like a person in prison. But I just want my life back. I feel wrong in a way but I really just want to be free."

"Ever since I have my baby, I just felt so regreted of that decision. I love her as a person, but I hate being her mom. I felt like I missed out my life, my freedom. My life was perfect without her. My hubby and I were madly in love and we travel a lot. We still wanted to do so much adventure together, but now we are trapped in this parenting world"

"I also feel sorry for myself and my hubby about losing "us" in this kid world. Before the baby, we have each other, we love and care for each other, we both love traveling and exploring the world. But now, we feel old, indifferent and just bored." I still think the best solution for us is to find another couple who can raise our daugther, while we can still support her either financially, or even babysit her once in a while. I will never get out of this big hole I dug for myself. This is hard and harder that we have no way out but to live with this mistake."

I suffer just reading this stuff, I can't imagine having to live it. Anyone reading this who has the same feelings probably has no business having kids. I know I don't and have no shame in saying so...I am shamelessly childfree and have vowed that this will never be my life. Parenthood is anything but temporary as the last quote so beautifully stated. There is no way out, you have to endure it. It's a long road. My plea is for people to stop being so fucking shortsighted about it, that's all.

This isn't really "news" because in the years that I've been blogging, I've come across many a "scientific study" that indicates parents are less happy than people without children. The reason I love to write about these studies is because we live in a culture where the fetishization of motherhood seems to reach new and maddening heights each year.

Each time a celebrity mom gives an interview, she must go on and on about how "HAPPY SHE IS TO BE A MOM! And how it's "THE BEST THING SHE'S EVER DONE!" And how "LIFE WAS MEANINGLESS BEFORE I BECAME A MOM!"

And now we have "mommy blogs" infecting the internet with this same drivel and influencing people to make rash decisions based on someone else's exaggerations.

For cynics like myself, it's easy to read these things, roll my eyes, and turn a page. Pretty words about babies don't have an effect on me. In my daily life, I observe people with their kids and I let those observations shape my view of what parenthood is all about.

Out of all the parents I know, who range from being dirt poor to bringing in hundreds of thousands of dollars a year, on average, most don't seem to be floating around on cloud 9. Parenthood hasn't elevated them to the place of ethereal inner peace and calm that I am striving to get to myself. As a matter of fact, most of the parents I know are just like me but more tired, with more responsibilities and less time to tend to them, more time spent cleaning up after people, more time spent trying to teach someone to behave and act a certain way, and with a lot less disposable income and control over their own life.

So no, I don't look at them with envy and say to myself "Wow, all of these parents I know are so happy and at peace. They have completely convinced me that children are the road to fulfillment! I think I'll get pregnant right away!"

Not to say that they all seem miserable either but are most of them insanely happy about having kids to be obligated to for the next two decades? Not from what I see.

So, as far as I'm concerned the more studies that come out and slay this asinine notion that children make you happy, the better.

I shamelessly post this Newsweek article telling us what we should already know...parents report THEMSELVES to be less happy than the childless.

From the article:

"In Daniel Gilbert's 2006 book "Stumbling on Happiness," the Harvard professor of psychology looks at several studies and concludes that marital satisfaction decreases dramatically after the birth of the first child—and increases only when the last child has left home. He also ascertains that parents are happier grocery shopping and even sleeping than spending time with their kids. Other data cited by 2008's "Gross National Happiness" author, Arthur C. Brooks, finds that parents are about 7 percentage points less likely to report being happy than the childless."

Damn, they'd rather be sleeping or in the grocery line! There's a resounding endorsement of parenthood. They might as well just say:"I would rather be out buying Cheerios and Drano than spending time with my little piss nugget of a child."

Sweet.

7 percentage points "un-happier", while not earth shattering, is still noteworthy. I don't believe it's fully accurate though because parents being interviewed by strangers are not likely to be honest about the fact that they aren't happy as parents. There is a stigma and a massive sense of shame in saying that you are unhappy in your role as a parent. So while 7 percent proves a point, it's probably higher. As one mom in the article stated, "If you admit that kids and parenthood aren't making you happy, it's basically blasphemy,"

Sad but true. The culture of silence surrounding parenthood is wildly disturbing to me. And it's not just silence that deceives us. If only! It's outright dishonesty. People will LIE about how great parenthood is before they will cop to the fact that it's anything but a blissful endeavor.

From Florida State University's Robin Simon, a sociology professor who's conducted several recent parenting studies:

"Parents experience lower levels of emotional well-being, less frequent positive emotions and more frequent negative emotions than their childless peers. In fact, no group of parents—married, single, step or even empty nest—reported significantly greater emotional well-being than people who never had children. It's such a counter intuitive finding because we have these cultural beliefs that children are the key to happiness and a healthy life, and they're not."

Truer words were never spoken. I can't tell you how many blogs I've read of women expressing misery over motherhood. And fathers too for that matter. Many can be found on True Mom and True Dad Confessions, but others are simply out on the web waiting to be discovered and I fully intend to post excerpts and delve more into the topic in the coming days so get ready!

Got a some bitchy, whiny feedback from "Anonymous" on the last post and thought I would share it with my loyal readers...

"I love how no one can have a discussion about the Catholic Church without bringing up child molestation or whatever. Like it or not, that's bigotry -- not all Catholics molest children.

I personally don't understand why people get so up-in-arms about the church's stand. If you don't agree -- don't join the church. But comments like "Catholics are hyprocrites" or whatever are hurtful and stupid. As if all Catholics can be painted with the same brush!

I agree that all the extra children cause way more pollution than the hormones in urine.

It seems nobody can have an intelligent discussion when it comes to the Catholic Church -- people just react with this knee-jerk "Catholics are evil and molesters" crap. Do you ever stop to consider that this hurts people? Why can't you disagree with the dogma and discuss it intelligently without the insults?

Thank you very much -- my first post here will definitely be my last.

Signed, childfree and sick of bigotry"

First off, it's fascinating how people threaten to never come back to your blog when they're NOT the type of reader you want anyway. Oh no, you won't post here again? OMG what ever will I DOOOOOOOOOOOO? How will I gain the motivation to blog without your support?????

Boo friggity hoo, don't let the fucking door mow your whiny ass down on the way out.

Secondly if you or anyone else is "hurt" by my criticism of the Catholic Church, click the red X at the top of the page and see yourself out. HAHA Bigotry my ass...I didn't personally display anything of the kind. Religion SHOULD be QUESTIONED AND CRITICIZED, not blindly followed and never taken to task on it's antiquated, unreasonable policies. Grow up and learn to take it or stop the world so you can get off.

And anyway, my post wasn't about "all Catholics", it was about the shit-tastic leaders of the church who churn out and promote this bullshit. I was catholic school educated as a child/teen so I know this fuckery like the back of my hand.

Clearly, this person just came here to throw stones at people calling out the church on their bullshit and I thought it was ironic as hell. They complain that no one can have an "intelligent discussion when it comes to the Catholic Church" yet they made no attempt to intelligently articulate the church's stance on what our concerns are. They didn't, or couldn't (likely the latter) defend the position of the church on what this post is about- their outright LIES about the birth control pill causing environmental pollution and being responsible for male infertility. They also couldn't explain WHY exactly this church's stance on birth control ISN'T hypocritical or why the church would rather try to force people to procreate rather than placing a little more emphasis on promoting adoption and fostering.

No, we get no defense from this person on THE ISSUES. Instead we get a hissy fit criticizing us for using free speech to call the Catholic Church what it is- a shitty religion doing what it can to help overpopulate the Earth and take away a woman's control over how many times she conceives.

So Anon, your concerns have been heard. Here's to hoping you keep good on your promise not to post again. I prefer commenters who can engage instead of whine childishly and guilt trip.

The best way to describe my current state of mind is "astonished".

I just finished reading this article and am dumbfounded at the measures the Catholic Church is taking to discourage women from taking control of their own fertility.

A report in the Vatican newspaper L'Osservatore Romano is claiming that the contraceptive pill is polluting the environment and is in part responsible for male infertility.

From the article:

The pill "has for some years had devastating effects on the environment by releasing tonnes of hormones into nature" through female urine, said Pedro Jose Maria Simon Castellvi, president of the International Federation of Catholic Medical Associations, in the report.

"We have sufficient evidence to state that a non-negligible cause of male infertility in the West is the environmental pollution caused by the pill," he said, without elaborating further.

The article was promptly dismissed by several organisations.

"Once metabolized, the hormones contained in oral contraceptives no longer have any of the characteristic effects of feminine hormones," said Gianbenedetto Melis, vice-president of a contraceptive research association, quoted by the ANSA news agency.

Is this outrageous or what?

I wish I could say I was even mildly surprised at the straws being grasped at by the Catholic Church, but they have a well documented history of going to extreme lengths to keep women from having an actual CHOICE in their own reproductive health. It's beyond disgusting.

I mean look at their cockamamie statement. they didn't even back their shit up with any concrete proof!

Hmph could that be because....THERE ISN'T ANY???

Dicks.

This church promotes a culture of baby having BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY. They oppose birth control with no exceptions. Even in marriage!

So using their logic, let's look at their stance. A married woman (fully sanctioned to have sexual intercourse with her husband by their "rules") is not within her rights to control her fertility via the pill or any other medical intervention. The church has no regard for whether or not the woman and her husband are mentally and emotionally ready to bear children, whether or not they are financially capable of supporting a child, whether or not they even DESIRE to have a child intruding upon every aspect of their lives for the next 20 years. They don't give a shit about any of it.

Their only option under the rules of the Catholic Church is to either NOT have sex or to have unprotected, contraceptive-free sex and be involuntarily "blessed" with children whether or not they desire them, are mentally ready for them, can afford them, etc.

Bullshit.

Completely destructive for the parents and the potential spawn. Do they care? Nope. It's NOT their problem. Do you get that? Whether you can take care of those kids they are insisting you have is of no consequence to them.

They aren't satisfied until people's homes are overrun with children.

What disturbs me just as much is their endless talk about "charitable works" and helping others, yet they spread outright lies about contraception and try to ban birth control among their parishioners and do nothing to help promote adoption or fostering orphaned kids. Apparently, as far as the Catholic Church is concerned, adoption and fostering be damned, be fruitful and multiply OR ELSE!

So, sorry all you prospective parents of the Catholic faith who'd prefer to adopt and save a few of the million abandoned children of the world, rather than contributing to overpopulation and having your own. Your church does not support your use of birth control under any circumstances, even if it serves the greater good for you to adopt kids that are already here rather than spawning new ones.

And these days, even though mindless breeding is still rampant, there ARE people who desire to become parents in a more noble, conscientious way and prefer to adopt rather than procreate. It's rare to see but they are out there! I have a great deal of respect for people like that and it bothers me that people of this mindset could abandon those plans due to the poisonous lies this church is now spreading about birth control.

I know my posting has been sporadic but life has been super busy. My new job is great but learning so much new shit is fucking exhausting and daunting. Plus I'm trying to work out regularly and keep up with the other blog as well, along with deciding on a new apartment in North Scottsdale that's closer to work.

I'm tired.

However for the last two days, I've been feverishly planning an exciting trip for later in the year...

I'M GOING TO THE ISLAND OF TURKS AND CAICOS!

Yaaaaaaay!

Do you know how long it's been since I've had a REAL vacation?

Firstly since moving here from the East Coast three years ago, ALL of my vacations have been spent back East visiting my family. I have accumulated almost 60,000 frequent flier miles just from seeing them!

So I've decided that it is HIGH TIME for me to make an excursion elsewhere...to an exotic caribbean island where I can relax and rejuvenate!

But there's a problem.

I cannot find any ADULT only resorts to meet my needs. EVERYTHING is "child friendly".

Goddamn it all to hell.

Reading reviews of resorts on Trip Advisor has been highly frustrating simply because almost every hotel I'm interested in is rated as being "recommended for families with young children".

Why are young children being taken to Turks and Caicos ANYGODDAMNWAY? That is a place for GROWN-UPS!

Why can't parents take their fucking kids to Disney and leave the exotic locations for the adults?

Christ on crutches. People insist on taking their fucktrophies everywhere. Excuse me for wanting to be able to visit a gorgeous island without tripping over little bratleigh and snotface everywhere I fucking go.

Assholes.

And why are hotels such pussies about putting a foot down and saying "This place is for people at least 16 and up" or something along those lines?

Because you know if the resort patrons are bothered by OPK's (other people's kids), the employees of the resort are as well. It's a hassle for everyone involved.

I read numerous resort reviews by assbag, oblivious breeders who said shit like "brought along 18 month old baby and 3 year old, couldn't find child centered activities" and just wanted to give up on the whole thing.

A fucking 18 month old in Turks and Caicos on vacation. Are you serious????

I mean, I assumed that going in November when school is in session was a great way to avoid the crumbsnatcher set but if people are bringing 18 month old babies, that pretty much shoots my plan to hell.

I looked at other places too. Jamaica was an option but EVERYONE goes to Jamaica. I don't wanna go where everyone else goes! But for argument's sake, let's say I decided on Jamaica. They have a Hedonism resort and a Sandals resort, both of which are adult only. Sandals is a no-go because unless my mom or BFF decides to take me up on my offer and come with, I will be going on this trip alone. Sandals is for couples ONLY.

As for Hedonism, that place is for pervs. Don't get me wrong, I'm a lusty lady and all but what I do not want is to be bombarded with nekkid horny people on what I intend to be a relaxing vacation. Sorry, I just don't wanna glance over and have some woman's bare boobs or thonged ass right in my goddamn face. NONE FOR ME, THANKS!

Ugh or some 50 year old pale man in a speedo or NOT in a speedo. Ewww saggy balls in my face YUCK! BLARGH!!!! NO NO NO.

Why can't I just find a nice resort for mature adults of various age ranges, that isn't hopping with snot monsters, and isn't crawling with pervs? Is that too much to fucking ask???

Clearly it is.

I'll keep searching I guess...