I guess I shouldn't continue to be surprised or appalled at entitled, inconsiderate, self-absorbed breeders who insist upon hauling their children to ADULT intended venues but dammit, I just cannot NOT be appalled.

Recently, me and a group of my girlfriends decided to take in a 10pm screening of an R rated film...

Again I don't know WHY I allow myself to be shocked at the ignorant actions of breeders anymore, but honestly you could have knocked me over with a feather when a couple with TWO strollers sauntered into that movie theater and plopped their asses down into the front row of seats.

The children with them appeared to be between 2 and 4 years old and let me just say...this is not a tame R rated movie. This was a screening of "Precious".

Not familiar with it? Take a gander at the trailer.


Precious Trailer - The most popular videos are a click away

This film is rife with profanity, shows scenes of sexual abuse and incest, and depicts explicitly violent acts of child abuse and attempted murder.

Looks like a great choice for children doesn't it?

Me and my friends were personally traumatized by the movie and cried intermittently throughout (we even passed around a box of tissues)...and we are ADULTS.

Grown ass people (besides us) in this theater were openly sobbing and emotionally distraught by the film.

What fuckwit would bring TODDLERS to see this? The trailer alone - which has been airing for months via commercial and on Oprah's show - should have indicated to everyone viewing that the themes of this movie are not appropriate for children!

The atmosphere...a theater full of adults trying to enjoy a movie they paid $10 to see, in peace and quiet, is not an appropriate atmosphere for children.

What the fuck are you breeders doing?

And as I expected, the disturbing scenes of violence, anger, and yelling got these kids crying pretty early on into the film.

Typically though, mommy and daddy didn't see the need to give the rest of the theater any reprieve from the shrieks and wails of their little twat monsters. There was no removing of the children. The rest of us be damned. The shithead "parents" (I use that term loosely) were not going to miss a nanosecond of the movie to tend to THEIR fucking kids.

It pissed me right the fuck off. I wanted so badly to get up and go complain but my friends begged me not to.

Ugh.

What I really don't understand is WHY this is allowed. The asshole taking tickets won't let me bring in a milkshake from Cold Stone but he lets these breeders into a graphic R rated film with two whiny ass kids under the age of 4?

Where the fuck are the priorities here?

Why are there not stringent rules at movie theaters that say: "For the consideration of our patrons attending any film rated R, and for the consideration of children viewing images deemed not to be age appropriate by the MPAA, we prohibit the presence of children under the age of 13."

It's really that fucking simple, why is it not done??

This is the second R rated movie I've been to in the last few months where I've seen babies and/or toddlers in the theater. The other was equally inappropriate for kids, the horror film "Orphan".

I can't begin to understand why people are so blatantly inconsiderate of others when bringing their kids to ADULT venues.

I can't begin to understand why people allow their toddler spawn to sit in loud theaters with movies filled with adult language and pervasive violence.

And lastly, I can't begin to understand what is so fucking hard about getting a goddamn babysitter!!!!!!!

Following up on the last post, I wanted to talk more about the tactics of some of the protesters who frequent the clinic because I think it's important to be aware of the lengths these people will go to shame, race bait, deceive, and invade the privacy of PP's patients.

I do very much believe that just their presence alone is invading the privacy of the women who visit our clinic. They are there to invoke shame and guilt for something that is no one's business but that of the woman herself.

So yes, I do think it's a gross invasion of privacy and while I have no problem with "free speech", it should not be LEGAL to have your "free speech" at the expense of another human beings' right to privacy when accessing any form of medical attention. PERIOD.

Ugghhh. Makes me stabby.

In any case, let me address the criminal level of stupidity displayed by some of our most ardent opponents because honestly, it is unparalleled by anything else I have ever witnessed.

Imagine my disbelief one day upon hearing "shouty little asshole" (my arch nemesis and least favorite protester) offering up a "free high chair" to our patients.

This is not a goddamn joke either. Her exact words were: "Please don't kill your baby! We can help you. We can get you a free high chair!"

Wow, what a monumental offer. This was really a tough choice for some of these women I'm sure, but if you can get them a free high chair, THAT SOLVES EVERYTHING! What reason could you possibly have to follow through with an abortion if you're being offered a HIGH CHAIR????

{insert extreme sarcasm here}

OMFG I can't even take it sometimes.

In.what.assholes.mind.....does giving someone a high chair reconcile every other profoundly life-altering hurdle present when considering whether or not to carry a fetus to term?

Do you understand what the fuck I go through to try and maintain my civility for the sake of the patients?

It's hard, I am not going to lie.

Another thing I'd be remiss not to mention is the way some of the protesters plead for women and girls to "just come with us down the block for breakfast, so you can tell us about your situation. If you change your mind about having this procedure after you talk to us, we will bring you back to Planned Parenthood".

*Sidebar- I don't believe for one second they would ever bring someone BACK to what they perceive is a "haven of 'baby-killing' and ill repute". I honestly think that anyone naive enough to accompany them and then have the audacity to NOT agree to do things their way would be left stranded and helpless.

Now, I have never seen anyone fall for this tactic but some of the other volunteers say there are rare occasions when patients are swayed by these people and actually leave with them.

What I'm told is that the whole "let us buy you breakfast" tactic is just another way to foil the abortion since this is a procedure that MUST be done on an empty stomach.

This is like high school level fucking sabotage with these people.

"Eat some of our tasty free food you vulnerable, naive pregnant girl. That way the clinic won't be able to terminate your pregnancy today!" *evil cackle*

What the fuck is this, Snow White and The Sabotaging, Breakfast-Wielding Anti-Choice Dwarfs?

And it only gets more frightening.

One of the biggest fucking shams ever thought into existence by these maniacal zealots is the infamous "Ultrasound RV" that used to troll the surrounding neighborhood near the clinic lying in wait for women "on the fence" about their impending terminations.

Just by the sounds of it you know I am talking about some extreme fuckery dontcha?

Well, it's just as you imagine it. This is an enormous recreational vehicle equipped with ultrasound apparatus. Also reportedly included? Random people dressed in scrubs (to give them the appearance of a legitimate medical professional) offering women free ultra sounds (in their shitty ass RV) and "counseling".

I haven't seen this thing on any of my shifts but several sources tell me it is in fact real and not some crazy urban myth.

It is unknown whether these people are actually CERTIFIED to even perform ultra sounds (I'm thinking ummm NOPE!) but, they have been known to tell women that they are farther along than they actually are just to deceive them into believing it's too late for them to have an abortion.

Just thinking of some young, uneducated, under-privileged woman being bamboozled into continuing a pregnancy under these kinds of circumstances puts me in extreme mental despair. The amount of anger and emotion is almost too much to cope with if I really allow myself to consider this possibility.

Again, I am told there are women who leave with them on rare occasion and for that I'm sure the protesters feel victorious that day. But victorious over what? The fact that they guilted and shamed a woman into keeping a baby she likely cannot take care of either financially, emotionally, psychologically?

The woman carrying this fetus actually came to a clinic - which is a huge step for some - to abort it. She was serious about her inability to go through with this pregnancy until these people intervened.

They can walk away from that precarious situation and feel good about themselves without WORRYING about the fate of this woman and the soon to be born child?

It's really hard for me to swallow. Maybe it shouldn't be, but it is.

I never in a million years thought that I could feel such compassion, concern, and care for women who are complete and total strangers but I feel like I remember the faces of every woman I have ever seen walk into our clinic. I remember their faces and I remember the stories they tell me of how they arrived at this critical juncture in their lives.

Days later, when I'm going about my daily routine...out of nowhere I'll wonder how they're doing.

This is not something I'm trying to frame as sad or tragic either.

When they leave our clinic, I am nothing but utterly relieved for them. Not sad or regretful, but relieved.

Relieved they had a choice.

That they weren't forced into motherhood against their will.

That they didn't bring another unwanted child into the world.

That, if they are childless and impoverished, their chances of emerging from poverty are better without the presence of children. Numerous studies (and conventional wisdom) tell us that women with children are more likely to be impoverished. One source states that "Motherhood increases the odds of poverty by an estimated 79%."

These are things I personally care a lot about.

I realize that the protesters (and anyone who is AGAINST CHOICE) do not care about these things.

Essentially, these people want PP out of business which means not just less abortions. It means less affordable contraception for those with low incomes, less access to affordable reproductive health services, and less STD testing, education, and treatment for people in communities that under-served and generally underprivileged when it comes to health care services.

Make no mistake, the people protesting PP and similar providers are protesting ALL of these services, not just abortion.

I think my hope is that anyone reading this is spurred to do something relevant to support CHOICE. Personally believing in a woman's right to choose unfortunately is not actively helping women. That's not an accusatory statement or an indictment of anyone's character. I just think a lot of us are complacent and unaware of how much of a threat this anti-choice movement really is.

With the Stupak-Pitts amendment (which polls show is favored by a majority of Americans), even the ability to use private insurance to pay for an abortion would be threatened. A MAJORITY of Americans don't believe any federal funds should be used toward an abortion. Yet how many of those same people gripe at the notion that their tax dollars must go to something "welfare related"? How many of them are too stupid to realize that less unwanted, unplanned children women aren't prepared for means less welfare and poverty?

Oklahoma wants to pass a law forcing women undergoing abortions to reveal the following bits of personal information:

1) Date of abortion
2) County in which abortion is performed
3) Age of mother
4) Marital status of mother
5) Race of mother
6) Years of education of mother
7) State or foreign country of residence of mother
8) Total number of previous pregnancies of the mother

This information would then be fully accessible to the public which means women in small towns could possibly be identified by their friends and neighbors as the "culprits" of a perfectly legal medical procedure.

My state and numerous others are supporting pharmacists in denying women birth control and emergency contraception.

My state and others are enacting prohibitive measures such as "24 hour waiting periods" and "mandatory counseling" to put barriers in place for women seeking access to abortion services.

Yes ladies, they are legislating how we become informed about our own uteri. They are legislating our bodies and it's contents. They are legislating whether we can PREVENT PREGNANCY OR NOT because they are more concerned with the rights of some pharmacist than the long term implications of you having a baby you may not want or be able to take care of.

The gravity of all this should devastate ANYONE who cares about women.

How we spend our time defending our rights matters. Who we vote for matters. How we take a stand on this issue matters.

Donate to PP or a similar organization. Volunteer for PP or a similar provider in your community. Vote every anti-choice bastard you know out of office. Campaign for them. If it applies to you, simply say the words I said in my last post regarding this: "YES, I WOULD HAVE AN ABORTION". Help take the horrible stigma away from this valid, powerful choice. Too often women are afraid to say they would have an abortion but the reality is, 1 in 3 of us will have had an abortion by the time we're 45.

ONE in THREE

It's not that I don't respect people who say they personally support the choice but would not have one, it's that we need to hear from the women who support the choice and are not afraid of saying YES they would have one. Those voices are in short supply.

Sometimes I wonder if it is going to take us going back to pre- ROE v. Wade days for people to stop being complacent about this. The days when women DIED from illegal, botched abortions or from desperate attempts to self-abort using dangerous drugs and wire hangers.

As cruel as it sounds, that may be the only way to wake the pro-choice movement up from it's seemingly peaceful slumber.

I hear a lot of voices these days with regard to this issue...it's unfortunate that the anti-choice ones seem to be the loudest.

*I will be following up on the last post, simply consider this an intermission*

Ugh...Facebook Momfia Wars. Why do I keep finding myself in this situation?

Lemme tell ya what happened.

OK, so BFF posted something to Facebook about how she longs to be a SAHM but has no conceivable way to manage it financially.

She hates looking for a job (as do most people) and hates the idea of leaving her baby in daycare.

Being that I am a staunch advocate of women being as independent as possible (and not counting on men to "make their lives" for them), I thought I'd recommend the book "The Feminine Mistake" (which I talked about here) and remind her how possible it is to find a job you love.

I posted:

Two things: First, I think you should dedicate yourself to finding a job you absolutely love. It is NOT impossible and I am living proof of that! If you need resume help or something, I am here girlfriend!

Secondly, I implore you to go to your local library and find the book 'The Feminine Mistake' by Leslie Bennetts.

I read it a few years ago (after watching an Oprah episode about women who stayed home with their kids instead of working and ended up divorced or widowed and completely annihilated financially because of their economic dependence on their spouse) and it is worth it's weight in gold...

One thing I liked about the book is that she stresses that women NOT think of working as "X of MY wages will go to daycare". The child is both of your financial responsibilities because you are married, so why do women think in the singular mindset of where "their wages" will go and deduce it isn't "worth it" for them to work? The goal of working is to ensure financial security and income growth, and this comes only with time. Time spent working! There will come a day when you are not paying for daycare because the kid will eventually go to school. A job and the formation of a career is an investment you make in yourself and can help to ensure your security should you ever end up divorced, widowed, or with a critically injured/disabled spouse who can no longer support the family.

I want you to be happy and have an abundance of choices and options...I personally think that comes in part with having a stable job (that you enjoy) and an extensive back up plan not related to any one person. Dependence has definite risks. This book made me think about that a lot. The thought of something happening to ______ (her husband) or your marriage and you and the baby being compromised because of it kills my soul. Having a job doesn't protect you from *everything* but it provides an additional layer of security for you and your child and the ability to more quickly leave an undesirable situation should it ever come to that.


Now...did I say anything *wrong* here? Overly passionate maybe, but this is how we communicate with each other. Still, nothing malicious in the comment right?

Well, BFF's friend (who I've never met)- whom we'll call "Terminally Unemployed, Devastatingly Insecure Mombie" took HUGE issue with my advice.

She decides to butt into the dialogue and say:

What is security? Security can be snatched away in an instant--as many of us have seen in our current economic situation. If one's desire is to work, then great--but if one's desire is to stay at home, rearing the next generation (which I'm currently doing), then that should be applauded. One day, I will not lie on my deathbed and say, "I wish I would've worked more." Every family is so different, and what may work for one, may not work for the other. Why plan for disaster? It's one thing to be prepared, but another to change your entire lifestyle, "just in case" the world turns upside down."

"Why plan for disaster"??? Did I just read that?

And "what is security"? Um, I can tell you what ISN'T security. Hitching your wagon to a man and putting all your eggs in his basket. That's what ISN'T "security".

From her profile picture, it seems as if this woman has three kids. So with THREE FUCKING KIDS, the fact that she doesn't see the need to "plan for disaster" is very disturbing and honestly an indication of how reckless and irresponsible people are with their children's futures. The "I don't WANT to work, even though I can't afford to have a catastrophe happpen" mentality seems common among SAHM's.

"Why plan for disaster???..." You must be fucking joking woman.

I plan for disaster and all I have is fucking cats man!

And really. If your choice is so magnificent and you'll "never lie on your deathbed wishing you'd worked more", why are you getting so fucking defensive about me telling my friend how huge of a risk staying home is for someone in her position? Could it be because YOU are positively desperate for your situation to work out because your options are limited and you hate having it brought to your attention?

COULD THAT BE WHY BITCH?

Because your life DEPENDS on whether or not your husband decides to stay married to you? Because you and your children's lives DEPEND on whether or not he stays healthy enough to work and make enough money to support you and three kids? Because you have no job, job prospects, or money of your own and have built an entire house of cards upon one man's personal whims and luck?

Awww, I guess that would make anyone defensive huh?

Boo friggity hoo bitch. Make a different decision and get empowered then.

"Ugh, WHY are you even talking to me you troll? I am addressing my FRIEND about this!!!", I wanted to type back in ALL CAPS.

Instead though, I figured I'd muster up some decorum, (while still highlighting the foolishness and level of risk involved in such a decision).

"Um, no need for a "mommy wars" debate or the defensiveness. I don't even know you. Or your circumstances for that matter. If someone is happy being solely dependent on a man's income (and his whims/desire to always stay married to you, faithful to you, and support you financially, along with his ability to never befall anything unfortunate) embrace that lifestyle and hope for the best...you certainly don't need to justify yourself or your choice to me, a stranger on a mutual friend's Facebook page...if ______ (our friend) were filthy rich I would not be on here telling her- "Even though you are independently wealthy, I think you need a job for autonomy and personal fulfillment and forget about staying home with your kid." My advice is geared toward her because I know her situation. In regard to HER, I worry about all of the things that depending solely on imperfect people (and their pesky ability to get hurt and/or drop dead) and ever-changing relationships can cause down the road and I want her to have as much empowerment and protection against that as possible...I am not addressing you personally or the beloved institution of stay at home mommyhood."

Dumbass.

I mean really. Why are her panties in a bunch over this if she's not somehow insecure about her own vulnerabilities?

Terminally Unemployed, Devastatingly Insecure Mombie's response:

"I WILL EMBRACE IT! That's what vows are for. To each his own you know."

Um...that's what the fuck I just said in my last comment you touchy, wretched hag. Embrace that shit all you want!

Oh but the "that's what vows are for" comment made me L-O-fucking L.

"WAAAAAA, STOP MAKING ME THINK ABOUT NOT HAVING A PLAN B. MY VOWS WILL WITHSTAND EVERYTHING!!! DON'T YOU DARE TELL ME OTHERWISE!!!"

ROFL!

This is what happens when you talk about this to women who don't work. There is all of sorts of faux-existential questioning..."what is security anyway???" and vague talk of "vows" as if "vows" protect against every crisis people will ever face when they aren't financially independent. They wax philosophical about "lying on their death beds" and evaluating their lives....ugh, it's all so ridiculous.

You rarely ever hear anything of substance out of their mouths addressing the issue you're bringing up- the fact that this IS a risky choice for any woman who isn't financially secure on her own merit. Nothing they counter with is sufficient enough to justify putting the children they love so much in this potentially precarious position.

That's ok...if hubby becomes a vegetable or runs off with his childfree, 22-year-old girlfriend Heather, hopefully all your "love" will pay the mortgage and bills, as well as send your kids to college and fill up your 401k so you can prepare for retirement.

Just tell the kids you loved them too much to "plan for disaster". They'll understand!!

Again, as staunchly CF and feminist as I am, I have NO PROBLEM with a woman deciding to stay home as long as she is financially independent and not subject to the health, wealth, luck, and whims of a man. Vows or no vows.

If those things are not in place then yeah, I think the choice is risky and foolish and their dislike of that opinion is rooted in their own insecurity. I think that deep down, the women who get upset like this KNOW how risky it is. If they were secure, there wouldn't be any reason to be ruffled over the subject. They'd think to themselves, "Oh, they're talking about women in sketchy financial positions. This doesn't include me because I can make it just fine without my husband", and move on with their damn lives.

Anyhow, I'm glad I copied and pasted this thread earlier (intending to post it here) because apparently, after some time away from the keyboard and likely the realization that she came off as defensive and scared, "Terminally Unemployed, Devastatingly Insecure Mombie" came back to the thread, deleted all of her prior comments and addressed the following to me:

"(Childfree Chick), I just want to say I have no animosity in any of my comments. I really just wanted to encourage _______ to do whatever she can to follow her desire to stay home--this is not to say that one day she won't enter the workplace. I DO NOT look down on any working mother--my mom was a single mom and worked a ton, doing whatever she could to take care of us. I respect her so much, just as I respect any mom who has the privilege to stay home and be present for her kids. It all comes down to how much we love our kids and show that love--that's what they'll remember--whether we work for pay or work at home for no pay."

Um whatever. LOL. Who is she kidding? None of her comments referenced our friend at all. They were all rabidly defending her own risky, dependent lifestyle choice. The one she is clearly insecure and overly sensitive about.

I decided not to respond because this woman's cards are already on the table and she has already been exposed. She is pathetic enough to delete her own nonsensical, shrill comments for fuck's sake. And while my interest was for that of our friend, hers was simply to defend what she's done with her own life. I clearly hit a nerve with all my talk of BFF being secure and empowered, and this bitch's carefully constructed SAHM veneer cracked like a fucking eggshell over it.

Typical.