As I touched on in the last post, I've been hanging with a fab group of women and am enjoying some new social connections.

One stark reality of being militantly CF is, I think, that you become hyper aware of not only a person's current childed status, but also their intended parental status.

As someone who's just recently been through the drama of watching a close friend have a baby and then morph into an undesirable, I am particularly hyper aware of everyone's "status", so to speak.

Well, a few weeks ago, at one of our many evenings out on the town, a new woman joined our social circle. She's 32, from the same state I'm from and new to AZ, lives very near to my neighborhood, is a vegetarian (just like me), is completely non-religious (hello, ME!) is childless but has a dog she considers to be her child (yup, me again), is professional and career driven...and is basically, in a nutshell, a mirror image of me personality wise.

It's scary how much I have in common with this woman. She's fun and witty, and sharp as a tac. The first time we went to an event alone, we were seeing eye to eye on everything we talked about.

Everything.

We've done parties together, are doing lunch and dinner since we live close to one another, and honestly we just get the biggest kick out of being in one another's company.

The problem?

She wants babies.

Fuckitty fucking motherfuck gawddamnitalltohell.

*Sigh*

And knowing this I feel like I can't make a BFF out of her even though the desire is there on her behalf and mine.

It really fucking suxass and partly I feel like a bitch for thinking I shouldn't get too close to her now. And usually I'm ok with being a bitch when it's necessary and justified but I don't like being an unreasonable bitch. I like being a bitch with cause.

On the other hand, isn't the definition of insanity repeating the same dumb action over and over and expecting a new result each time?

I'm not someone who repeats mistakes very often. A fact I'm quite proud (smug?) about.

I just dealt with the woman formerly known as my BFF's baby drama. She went off the fucking deep end. Why would I jump willingly into another scenario that could end in exactly the same fashion?

You know how it went before...

We get along soooo perfectly and we relate to everything each other says! We're like two lesbians without the sex! We hear all of each other's problems and help solve them. We celebrate each other's triumphs and mourn each other's blues. We're in BFF loooooooove!

*hearts and stars and rainbows explode all over the place*

And then BAM, pregnancy.

And then POW, turning into someone completely unrecognizable and un-feminist after popping out the twat dumpling.

And then POOF, "Waaa why can't this to be like the 50's when women had no power and no say in anything and they just mindlessly shat out babies while the husband made all the money and did all the thinking???"

*Cue Paula Cole's "Where Have All The Cowboys Gone" in the background... "I will raise the children, if you pay all the billlllllllls."

Um, guess who doesn't want to go through that again?

*Childfree Chick raises her hand and waves it wildly from the back of the classroom*

So I look to you guys for opinions because mostly you have spectacular insights and I love reading what you have to say.

Do you give people a chance at close friendships when you discover they want kids? Should everyone get a chance, despite how you've been burned in the past by some formerly sane folk who turned into berserk breeders? Or do you just recognize the fundamental differences that you'll have with someone who desires spawn and keep them at arm's length to protect yourself from all the stress and frustration that could be lurking around the bend?

What's the answer here?