Comments on Childfree Clique: Child Support: I'd Rather The Daddy Pay It Than Us...

Hmmmm...what a can of worms.

We all agree t...

2008-10-29T09:38:00.000-07:00

Hmmmm...what a can of worms.

We all agree that unprotected sexual intercourse involving two consenting adult partners can result in a variety of unwanted consequences. I think we can safely say that most adult people know this is how babies are made.

Our argument is who is responsible for the care and feeding of said consequences between two consenting adults who know full well their actions may result in a child, and who has the say in whether the child exists or not.

Doesn't it seem fair that the person bearing the brunt of the physical consequences of pregnancy and child birth should be in charge of whether or not they are willing to bear it, as such a thing has the potential to destroy said persons body...forever. It may sound cold, but if a man really, Really wants to be a Daddy, he can work to find a woman who is willing to create some children with him, as opposed to "forcing" an unwilling woman to bear his children.

If the woman decides to keep the child, which wouldn't have been created without having a man consenting to unprotected sexual activity, then unfortunately, the man has to pony up and pay for what he helped to make. It's sad to think that a man would have to spend 18 years of his life supporting something he didn't actually want but he was one of the parties involved in the activity he knew full well might result in a child.

As I have worked hard to keep myself out of such situations, I do question why any responsibility for this child should fall to me and my taxes.

FYI peeps I'm not publishing any more back and for...

2008-10-28T15:15:00.000-07:00

FYI peeps I'm not publishing any more back and forth arguments between commenters...carry on with some new original points that don't attack plz.

So who gets to determined whether someone was "oop...

2008-10-28T12:27:00.000-07:00

So who gets to determined whether someone was "oopsed" or not? If this is left up to men, every accidental pregnancy would classify as an "oops" because they don't wanna take responsibility for letting the sperm outta their cock. And to reinterate Chick's point which no one has talked about, how does this not promote every gigolo in town from knocking up women and then claiming they're the victim of an "oops"?

Let's not foreget the bottom line here, at the end of the day somebody's wallat is gonna have to pay for these kids and it needs to be the father's and not ours. Oops my ass. Unless he accidentally penetrated and then ejaculated all on accident, it doesn't mean a dam thing. an oops shouldn't cause my taxes to go toward his fucking crotch fritter.

IMO, if a woman oopses a guy, then she is r...

2008-10-28T11:53:00.000-07:00

IMO, if a woman oopses a guy, then she is responsible for supporting the child on her own, especially if the father of that child wants no part in it or has false assumption that she is protected. HOWEVER, the MAN needs to protect himself AS WELL so as not to get caught up. Yes, pregnancy could happen as a result of sex, HOWEVER, if a woman or a man REALLY doesn't want a kid, he or she will take steps to prevent it.

How is it considered punishment, though, for the woman to raise and provide for the kid? I think the word "punishment" is not being used in the correct context here - I think the better word to use here is responsibility, as CF Chick noted above.

This is the classic case of BED.MADE.LIE.

I really don't want to argue about who has to take...

2008-10-27T23:51:00.000-07:00

I really don't want to argue about who has to take responsibility for vagina droppings. I don't have nor will I ever have any semon demons. Therefor my wallet is safe. If some other dude is stupid enough to get a woman preggers that is his problem. And I guess getting stuck paying for it is suitable punishment for such stupidity. So I offer a truce to you all. Shall we not snipe at each other and support Chick and her blog? Isn't it more important to stem the tide of babies rabies thereby making the former argument a moot point?
I also found the "boot knocking" very funny.

OK simmer down Maverick. No need to attack anyone ...

2008-10-27T23:35:00.000-07:00

OK simmer down Maverick. No need to attack anyone here. Your point is well taken and even though I have to talk you down a bit, this line gave me a good giggle:

"You were an active participent in the boot knocking fella"

Something tells me you're probably from the south! That sounds like something my southern relatives would say. I love it cause it's funny.

Chick, this is a useless argument to have with a m...

2008-10-27T23:04:00.000-07:00

Chick, this is a useless argument to have with a man, don't waste more of your typing. Getting pregnant is not a reality they've ever had or ever will have to face so they will always lack the sensitivity to look at the other side of this argument. They're used to being in control of everything and the reality that women have all of the control over this particuler thing, that is this important, pisses them off. IT'S NOT FAIR they whine. She has all the choices...wah wah wah they wail like infants. No you had a choice too dude and when you allowed the sperm to leave your cock, you and you alone put yourself at risk for this and a host of other shit. DEAL WITH THE SHIT THAT FOLLOWS LIKE A MAN. You were an active participent in the boot knocking fella. If a woman is too afraid to abort or doesn't feel it's the right thing to do, she shouldn't have to be a broke single parent because of it or take all my tax money because you wanna wimp out and perserve your wallat. I pay too much in taxes already and I don't give a shit about your wallat sir.

If guys could get pregnant we wouldn't even be talking about this junk.

Childfree Chick, we can butt heads all night. Nei...

2008-10-27T23:02:00.000-07:00

Childfree Chick, we can butt heads all night. Neither one of us will change our minds. So I propose a truce. I see your pov and understand how hard these decisions are for women. How about we save our energy for more constructive ends, like getting out the message about people communicating with each other about birth control before the fact. You are doing a great service running this blog, giving people (especially women) a safe haven, away from babies rabies and its carriers.
As for your tubal, all I can say is I had to resort to some pretty drastic lies to get snipped. Lies I wouldn't admit to here. I was persistant and got my way. I'm a generation older than you and I did it, you can too. You can only imagine the feeling of freedom you get when you no longer have to worry about pregnancy.

You're preaching to the choir in sterilization Cae...

2008-10-27T22:39:00.000-07:00

You're preaching to the choir in sterilization Caerni. I'm 28 and can't find one doctor willing to give me a tubal. It suxass so I'm with you on that.

Now, as far as the woman "having all the choices"...well, since she has the incredibly huge burden of carrying the parasite embryo, she SHOULD have all the choices. The decision to keep a baby isn't easy for most women and neither is abortion. All of the painful, emotional, heart wrenching decisions befall US in these situations. We have to deal with the physical and emotional pain that follows these decisions, NOT you guys. When men can give birth, then they can have choices as to the fate of an embryo. Until that happens, men will just have to be satisfied with the control they have over pretty much everything else in the whole entire world.

The bottom line is, no man should have a say in what a woman does with her body period. Even IF it affects his precious wallet. It's a known fact that having sex can put that wallet at risk. Men have a choice in whether or not to take that risk.

If this risk wasn't in place, I shudder to think how many men would just freely impregnate women left and right just for the fuck of it.

There almost HAVE to be financial consequences to get people to wise up about their personal fertility and who they choose fuck around with. We can't just have a free for all society where men can impregnate and then walk away because a woman doesn't do with her fetus, what HE specifies.

Yes there is a price to be paid to have sex. Unfo...

2008-10-27T22:14:00.000-07:00

Yes there is a price to be paid to have sex. Unfortunatley all I hear is men have no choice but to follow whatever the woman wants. The woman wants to abort and he doesn't, it gets aborted. She wants to have it and he has to pay for a child he doesn't want. The woman has all the choices. It is not punishing the woman for being pro-life. It is her being responsible for HER choice to give birth. She had sex too, she has to take responsibility for her actions too. She has to take responsibility for her choices too. Everything said so far lets her slide on responsibility because she gets all the choices and the guy gets to pay for them. She can always fall back onto his wallet. I do agree that before two people have sex they should decide what happens if there is an unwanted pregnancy. We all know most of us are not going to stop in the heat of the moment to have that disscusion. Just for the record I decided at age 17 to be child free. I got snipped at 27. You think it's hard to get an abortion? Try getting a vasectomy at that age with no children.

Thank you for this post!

A lot of the comme...

2008-10-27T20:35:00.000-07:00

Thank you for this post!

A lot of the comments on the previous topic were pretty shitty.

Some of the people who posted that men should get to opt out of fatherhood/child support responsibilities seem to want to PUNISH women for being pro-life when it comes to their own bodies.

The whole "if she chooses to have a baby he doesn't want, SHE should have the sole responsibility of supporting it fiscally" is the most fucked thing I've probably ever read.

If we want people to respect OUR choices when it comes to NOT having babies, we have to respect theirs when it comes to having babies. Trying to punish women financially for carrying a baby they feel an obligation to just because the man doesn't "want it" is bullcrap.

There's a price attached to sex sometimes that must be paid. It isn't "fair" but neither is life.

I agree with you totally. Although I get the idea ...

2008-10-27T18:58:00.000-07:00

I agree with you totally. Although I get the idea for men to have the opt out of the baby thing, I also think that if a woman wants to have a baby and the man doesn't she can either:

A) save up the money and get impregnated through IVF with mail order sperm so she can have her "perfect child"

B) ADOPT A CHILD IN NEED (We all know I'm big on this)

C) Find a guy who she thinks is cute, bed him, run off, never tell the kid so not to implicate a person who didn't plan on it

D) Find someone who WANTS to have a child with you so you can raise it as a cohesive family unit.

I can relate to you because similar to you when I was 17 I was preyed on by a 22 year old guy, yes the age difference wasn't as severe, but he did whisper those sweet nothings of "I want you to have my baby" and you know what, part of me wanted to just to show my "love" because in short I was a fucking idiot.

I think neither parent, woman or man should be able to opt out because you know what, the kid didn't ask for it. Despite being leary of the little crotch waffles, no child deserves that kind of life. You also can't place it on society because the system would collapse on itself. It also takes more then just money to raise a kid, money helps but we can all say here, CFer's or not, that being there is probably the most important thing.

I know people who have been abandoned by mothers and fathers and have had NO financial help from the other side leading to a less the nice standard of living even if the one parent worked their ass off, this happened to my husband growing up. I see how much that effects him. And sometimes there is the $$ coming in, but nothing else. Then the kids want to know why, they want to know that parent.

A good friend of mine is a parent to the best kid I've ever known. His sperm donor has 3 other children, he knocks up women and leaves 3 months after each and every child is born. It makes me sick because I've met some of the other kids, they don't deserve that and he comes around when he feels like it and plays proud papa but doesn't support all the kids and is back in all his child support for all his babies. He owes my friend over 11K. He should be castrated.

Parents should be held responsible for what they create, not society because we didn't have sex, we didn't make the choice, THEY DID.

From what I read in the comments, it's my under...

2008-10-27T17:24:00.000-07:00
From what I read in the comments, it's my understanding that many of you want to give license to men like these to impregnate as many women as possible while shirking financial responsibility for the lives they helped bring into this world.

Exactly. This what has always annoyed me about these men. They want birth control to be 100% a woman's responsibility and they shouldn't have to be responsible for ANYTHING. Fuck that.

Their argument that women have birth control options is valid, but SO DO MEN. Maybe not as many, but that’s because during the years women were demanding more birth control options, men were demanding Rogaine and Viagra instead. Their argument that women can just easily abort is bullshit, as it's not that easy to get an abortion. What if there is no where in your state to abort? What if you don't have the money, or the ability to travel to get the abortion, say, 2 hours away? And it's sad, but some women are really brainwashed and wouldn't be able to go through with an abortion, and adoption isn't that much easier. I had a friend in her late 30s who wanted to give her baby up for adoption but her family and friends gave her so much shit about it and made her feel so horrible about it, she ended up keeping the baby. And she was a grown woman who was living on her own! It would be much harder for a young girl to go against her family and peers.

Even if this was just about all girls using the pill and the pill was 100% effective, young women would still have to worry about catching STDs from all these guys who think they shouldn't have to wear condoms. I have two nieces who ended up unwed teen mothers with HPV because guys don't think they should have to use birth control and it really upsets me.

In a perfect world, young women would love and value themselves enough to not put up with shit from guys, but it's not a perfect world, so we can't give men a license to fuck over women for their own amusement just because of some urban legends. To the guys who are so convinced all women are just going to steal their semen and "ruin" their lives, there is a perfectly good way to do prevent that: keep your semen to yourselves!

If there are men going around impregnating girls w...

2008-10-27T15:40:00.000-07:00
If there are men going around impregnating girls who haven't reached the age of consent, the issue is why these gutterslime aren't IN PRISON FOR STATUTORY RAPE.

If an underage girl becomes pregnant, and the father is an adult, he should be slapped not only with a sentence, but a hefty child support payment that he pays from fricking jail. End of story.

I agree with Kellina.

Fact is, a man knows how pregnancy happens. It is his responsibility to control his own fertility and sexuality. If he doesn't want a child support payment, then he needs to stay his ass home, or choose a woman with whom they can discuss the issue in depth to where they are both comfortable with whatever the outcome is.

Ok, Chick, I see your point and mostly agree with ...

2008-10-27T14:59:00.000-07:00
Ok, Chick, I see your point and mostly agree with it. And as much as I want to keep gov'ment our of our lives, is a nessesary evil. Once the woman discovers her pregnancy, she needs to get the ball rolling to protect herself and tell the sperm donor about it. They then decide what will be done. If they (she) decides on abortion, he can pay for it. If she decides to keep the fetus then he needs to decide what he is going to do. Regardless of his decision it has to be made legal and binding. If he doesn't want to pay he LEGALLY gives up all parental rights. If he wants her to "have his child" then he must LEGALLY AND PERMANANTLY accept financial responsibility. This way the woman (who has the last say) can decide what she is going to do. None of this "come on sweatheart have my baby" and then skipping out crap. If he wants her to have the baby and she is willing, put it in writing, legal and binding. No "he said she said". Nobody should get off scot free. I don't want anybody dipping their hand in my wallet either. With this scenario all involved get a choice. This is the best I can think of until personnal responsibilty becomes contagious.

Wow, I see no one's touched this yet! You made a h...

2008-10-27T14:34:00.000-07:00
Wow, I see no one's touched this yet! You made a helluva great argument here and actually I agree with you. I work hard for my money damn it! We need to remember that ultimately, when it comes to taking care of someone's kid, there are two choices. The PARENTS can be held responsible for what THEY collectively created, or we, society can. I know which one I prefer. Sorry bout your luck, men who were duped into daddyhood but you're the one who had the sex, not me.

Outstanding post Chick!