Comments on Childfree Clique: You'll NEVER Regret Having Kids!

After reading posts by people who have decided to ...

2011-04-22T12:43:41.694-07:00

After reading posts by people who have decided to remain childless and those who always wanted to be parents it stands out quite clearly that those who want to remain childless have given the issue a lot of thought and have been very logical in their decision. It almost makes me think that its a shame that these genes and values aren't passed on to another generation. Not that I'm advocating that such people should have kids...no no, just expressing admiration for those qualities.

While I'm going to be a mother, I do think that the assumption often made by people with children that those without by choice lack empathy and compassion just shows their lack of insight. Most of them actually made the decision to have kids for themselves - they wanted someone to be there when they are old, they love kids, they think they are cute, they think they would enjoy that type of lifestyle, they want someone to love. Come on! It really gives me the shits when people think that because they had kids that they are better than those who do not.

My pregnancy was unplanned (I was thought to be baron due to a medical condition) and I made the decision to become a parent because (1) I felt I could raise her to provide a net benefit to society (2) I felt that we were mentally in the right place and could provide her many opportunities to live a happy life. There should have been a third, which was whether my husband and I could continue living happy fulfilled lives after she was born but at the time we made our decision I didn't really give this any thought which I do regret.

I've spoken to many people with kids and they never ever considered (1). It really amazes me. Kids are a draw on society and the environment as they are also a draw on their parents. Such parents go on to criticise childless people for being not empathetic. Give me a break.

Wow, it's absolutely refreshing to see this si...

2011-04-03T09:27:30.530-07:00

Wow, it's absolutely refreshing to see this side of the coin as well. I am 35 and don't want children. I decided this at the age of 9 because of hardships my mother went through. I had many years to think about my decision and it branched and branched until it became so complicated that not even a psychologist will try to unravel this. I don't regret not having children. I love my freedom too much and fear that most people have to become parents before they realise what I realised a very long time ago.. except they can never admit it..I guess. I do however respect parents and take my hat off to them. What people with children lose out of sight is that the ones who don’t want children, irrefutably admit that it’s not easy. I don’t know why I have to justify my decision to people all the time, but I’m passed that now, I don’t entertain that anymore, and people don’t ask anymore.

I'm 34 and never wanted kids. I'm in rella...

2011-03-29T09:08:07.807-07:00

I'm 34 and never wanted kids. I'm in rellationship and i live with my Boyfriend (4 years); we have awesome relationship, we are in North VA next to DC- planty of things to do, i'm never bored. I wanted to get a dog, so we got a puppy; but i wanted a puppy cause i like animals and not cause i'm compensating for not having a kid (like some of my "friends" told me). I feel sorry for people who are forsed in to having kids- it's horrible. In my case- i was preasured by my parents to have a child, they even told me to get prego and have it, and that they will rase it!!! So i told them to go and adopt a kid if they want it so much, i told them that i'm very dissapointed in them for not being able to love me for who i'm (i did not talk to them for a year). After all- we reconnected and they NEVER bring up kids again, may be they now ok with me not wanting any?
My boyfriend's mom gets high on her Prozak and calls me about once a month and leaves me a message about how much she wants me to have a baby - i told her i don't want kids; so now i'm just ignoring her calls.
My friend has 3 kids - her favorite thing to say every time she sees me: when are you going to have a kid, don't wait too long (eventualy i just stoped talking to her or respond to her party invitations). I did not drop her as a friend when she become a mom, i even went to her kids b-day parties- pure tourture for kidless adoult; i knew she can't leave a house anymore- so i went and spent time with her. What do i get in return- a target practice from her and her mom friends for not having kids and not rushing to get married. what a BS!

Instead of lame people like this, my friends now are awesome couples and single people with no kids, we go out to fun parties with push up bras and martinies (beats boring mom's get together my firend loves to have); we go hiking alot; dinners; lots of my friends are going back to school. I'm also in to running and do lots of races in DC for fun. Oh and few of them do have kids- but this people are not lame married pigs; they are good people with open mind towards life and other peope's choices.

In general- some people like to judge and gossip about other's lifes, they push they belives on you- i finaly came to the point where i don't care, i know they do it because they are UNHAPPY! Did you meet a Happy person who is judging others?? I never did- Happy people are too busy living they own lifes.

what a bunch of sad selfish pricks. Yes, there ar...

2010-08-19T15:04:22.030-07:00

what a bunch of sad selfish pricks. Yes, there are times when a parent will "regret" having kids, but those are just a few moments here and there and personally I find that watching my kids grow up is very rewarding.
I saw a slogan on one of the CF sites: "I took the battery out of my biological clock and put it into my vibrator"... HAHA well fine, when you're very old, and very lonely I hope you enjoy that vibrator. I look forward to being there for my parents. They're not perfect, but they deserve respect and someone to care for them. I also look forward to kids and grandkids in my old age. You can keep your money, travel, fun, sex and stupid pets. I have a real FAMILY. Oh and if your pet is smarter than my kid, then why do you have to pick up the poop after it? My kids go to bathroom by themselves.

If I could go back in time and change things, I wo...

2010-06-27T19:19:25.863-07:00

If I could go back in time and change things, I wouldn't think twice. It's hard to be a mother, It's hard to be a woman. My baby's father goes alllllll day to work, comes back home late but I spend everyday, all day with her, it's too much. Some days in the morning I can foresee my routine-day and I want to die right there.
On top of things my daughter was born with some kind of disease that is killing me. You never can tell you are going to have a perfect child. So my advice stay childless

I'll admit... I wanted children... but I only ...

2010-05-11T08:27:22.865-07:00

I'll admit... I wanted children... but I only wanted TWO!! When I was 24, after the birth of my second daughter, I begged to be sterilized. I was simply told by doctors to "Use birth control." It seems that in their eyes, I was "Too young" and "Not ready" for such a permanent decision. Most candidates are 30, have 3 kids, and are married (both of my girls were from the same dad, but due to his bi-polar issues we decided to split and that I'd take the children). So, when I was 25, I met another guy. Real sweet guy, who just happened to be sterile!! He gave me some sad story about a military accident that rendered him sterile. I didn't care, I didn't want any more children. But, it was all a lie. A year later we had a son... I had wanted to abort early in the pregnancy but he was so against it and I couldn't find anyone else who was able to take me. Needless to say, I was trapped into this pregnancy and having this child. Years later, we conceived another child, even though I was following strict birth control measures. This time, I gave the baby up for adoption (within the family). I cannot tell you how much I resent these 2 children we've had together and how badly I just wish I could go back in time and change things. I had the PERFECT life before these kids were born... and I feel that these last 2 children have taken from the first 2. There are days I can tolerate my son... then there are days I cannot stand to be around him. I have so much anger towards all those doctors who wouldn't tie my tubes.... it's like they made my choices for me. I wish they could see where I am now... the anger, the regret, the sadness... I wonder if this what they wanted for me when they told me that I wasn't "ready" years ago when I first requested that my tubes be tied...

I'm a guy who is 32 years old and don't EV...

2010-04-20T14:32:25.512-07:00

I'm a guy who is 32 years old and don't EVER want to be a father. I'm not even sure if I ever want to get married. But kids? Hell no. Thanks for creating this blog.

I've always wondered "What in the world to people see in the idea of having kids? Is their life going too smoothly that they feel a need to throw a giant irreversible monkeywrench into it?"

Thank you for your CF reassurance. I just found ou...

2010-02-20T16:45:27.758-07:00

Thank you for your CF reassurance. I just found out that Im a few weeks pregnant and am truly not sure i want children. We both used protection (pill and condom), so its not like this is a sloppy accident. Im 30, never been preg. before and have been looking at ALL my options. I feel that I have been guilted into feeling like I HAVE to be a parent. I too ended up at babcy center and other pregnancy sites. I could find nothing but "proaganda and bullshittery". I have a large network of friends and many of them have admitted that they feel trapped my parenthood. They married the wrong guys, worked dead end jobs and gave up on their personal dreams/ goals. All "for the sake of the kids".. i look at these families and can see the unhappiness. Thank you for making me feel more normal for my feeling of NOT wanting to be a parent. You have truly made a difference....

You are awesome. Thank you for interjecting some r...

2009-11-13T17:34:03.021-07:00

You are awesome. Thank you for interjecting some reality into that board. I am 27 and surrounded by new parents who repeatedly tell me that I most definitely WILL NEVER regret reproducing, should I choose to. I may very well procreate yet--or not--but as a human capable of experiencing a myriad of emotions I believe either choice will involve a mixture of happiness and regret.

Anyway, I just found this post by chance and looking at more recent ones is making me swoon. Kudos!

Well, during the time my BFF was pregnant I was su...

2009-10-09T13:24:42.093-07:00

Well, during the time my BFF was pregnant I was surfing for baby gifts along with trends, tips, etc. and I knew that Babycenter is a site she visits often.

Why are you so concerned about what websites I visit? It seems to me that your comment was placed here in order to instigate, as well as shame me for being a CF person on a baby site.

Since you are the almighty internet police, can I get off with just a warning this time instead of a citation????

Pleeeeeeease?

LMFAO.

Why do you lurk at BabyCenter if you have no inten...

2009-10-09T12:55:01.160-07:00

Why do you lurk at BabyCenter if you have no intention of having children? That's like an atheist hanging out in a Catholic church. It's great you have your own blog for women who are childless, but seeking out these child friendly sites seems like your looking to instigate not educate.

I had three children and regret every bit of havin...

2009-09-29T01:45:04.390-07:00

I had three children and regret every bit of having them. Why? I picked the wrong guy to marry plus grew up in a religious household. My mother didn't have a career and father got to do whatever he wanted. Anyways, I would tell any woman who wants a happy future to not have children. But I understand some women like to please and give and give and give without getting anything back. Those type of women would probably love motherhood but if you like peace, quiet, travelling, and control over your life don't have kids.

"Anon- I haven't done any podcasts, are y...

2009-06-14T02:20:21.302-07:00

"Anon- I haven't done any podcasts, are you referring to one I've linked to in the past?"

I apologize for asuming that you do podcasts. I was doing a search on more childfree podcasts. So far no luck.
The only one I listen to is The Adult Space Child Free Podcasts http://gettingby.net/blog/nfblog/

Again My apologises.

Take Care

Anon- I haven't done any podcasts, are you ref...

2009-06-08T10:57:53.845-07:00

Anon- I haven't done any podcasts, are you referring to one I've linked to in the past?

Greetings Great Blog, I just like to know if you...

2009-06-07T13:11:00.414-07:00

Greetings

Great Blog, I just like to know if you could put your podcasts through iTunes?. All the options to download has not worked for me.

Thank You

There are lots of unenlightened mothers in the wor...

2009-06-05T15:25:50.963-07:00

There are lots of unenlightened mothers in the world pushing their ignorance on other women. This much is clear.

I got news today from my fiance that his younger b...

2009-06-04T12:06:50.013-07:00

I got news today from my fiance that his younger brother's wife of less than one year had her child today. As was the case at her wedding, she continues to believe that the entire world revolves around her and HER needs.

The ironic thing here is that her husband (my soon to be BIL) has wanted to see the a certain baseball team play. He's about to be shipped off to Afghanistan. They are in VA now, and that's where he lives. They'll be there for three days...but he's going to miss all of it because of this child.

Still think having babies is "The Poo?" It sure sounds to me like it is just a bunch of shit instead.