Comments on Childfree Clique: Baby Shower Shopping- The Fuck Was I Thinking?

this had me laughing outloud at my desk...amazing....

2010-01-08T15:07:37.850-07:00

this had me laughing outloud at my desk...amazing..thanks for speaking what so many of us think but dare not say for being " heartless".

Love this! A year ago, my male co-worker invited ...

2009-09-13T19:36:09.558-07:00

Love this! A year ago, my male co-worker invited me to "their" baby shower at a restaurant. We don't even like each other - gift grab! But I went because I am the only CF co-worker and was trying to show I am "nice." Went and shopped for baby clothes, SHIT they are expensive! WTF???? They wear them, like, two months. I bought some nice stuff and then, our "co-workers" in another state wanted to go in on more gifts (all parents)! Hell, no. I faked it and used their money to buy more gifts and signed my name along with theirs. I paid for my own meal at the restaurant, sent nice pictures of the event. And NO Thank You! Couldn't even write a thank-you card. Email does NOT count. As another co-worker (a parent herself) said, acted like his wife was the first person on the planet to give birth. Most annoying part, he started with the "we're" pregnant shit. No, you are not pregnant, SHE is. And now he stays home all the time even though she's a SAHM. He's just a lazy A-hole looking for a reason to not work.

Oh, your post was hilarious! Baby clothes are way...

2009-08-27T20:17:05.090-07:00

Oh, your post was hilarious! Baby clothes are way too much money. And girls' clothes are so girly. Talk about gender roles. Their outfits encourage them to be sedate. How can a girl run and jump and get dirty if she's wearing a flowery, frilly, cutesy outfit?

I absolutely suck at the "guess the flavor of baby food game." But I won prizes at every kind of shower I went to.

I have to admit I did enjoy one of the 3 baby showers I attended. We did the "don't say baby" one (I won that one, naturally :-P) but the thing I liked was while the mom opened presents, her friend jotted down what she said every time she opened a gift and it became "Things she said the night Nicholas was Conceived" list. That was pretty funny. ("Ooh, it sings when you press it!")

This is so funny. I have to buy a shower gift soo...

2009-08-06T08:35:58.101-07:00

This is so funny. I have to buy a shower gift soon. Last shower gift I bought, I heard some mom in her 40s says "Oh Snap!" at some baby clothes. WTF?! I hate that overused phrase and to hear some sloppy mom say it about baby clothes was too much. I had to walk away so as to not laugh in front of her. I love your advice about wrapping the kid in a blanket or beach towel. I think it makes perfect sense and that you were being logical. Plus, you can use the towels for years and they are easy to fold and store.

BTW, do you ever want to lie and say that you "can't" have kids so people give you a bunch of sympathy???

OMG, that was brilliant! My cat looked at me stra...

2009-07-21T12:23:17.796-07:00

OMG, that was brilliant! My cat looked at me strange when I snorted while reading this!

Thank goddess I haven't been to a baby shower in years. But for those times when I have be in the presence of the little varmints, I make sure I get good and stoned before I leave the house.

I like the new layout. I may be late with that but...

2009-07-11T10:48:25.745-07:00

I like the new layout. I may be late with that but my computer was down.

This post was hilarious! I think you should start a trend. Throw a huge party once a year celebrating the fact that you have no children because you don't want any. Send out invites to your Un-baby shower, or make your own invites for your Childfree Shower. Unlike BS you can invite men as well and tell people there is no need to worry about gifts. Suggest that they bring their favorite bottle of whatever, favorite food or favorite dessert.

I too hate those stupid games that they play at baby/bridal showers. What moron comes up with this stuff? The only one that I can barely even tolerate is the one where you can’t say the word “baby” during the shower. I guess you get some sort of prize for catching those that do. It requires little or no effort and it seems as if you are involved even if you really aren’t. Did you really hear the woman next to you say “baby” 15 times or where you just too preoccupied with your cheese and crackers to notice?

If you ever go to one again, might I suggest my little made up game? While everyone else is “oohing” and “ahhing” over gifts, make a mental note to yourself of the items. Think of all of the other childfree things you can do with the money the parents have to spend on these things. A decent traveling system (i.e. a stroller with car seat) costs around $200 plus. I can buy a couple pairs of shoes, a bangin’ dress and a matching bag. Box of diapers and wipes: $30 - $35. I can get a pedicure with that or I can treat myself to a dinner with cocktails at TGIF or some other moderately priced restaurant. See how fun it can be, lol.

I helped plan a shower and we did serve alcohol. Some people said that we were “hood” for doing so. It’s nice to know that some people would have appreciated the gesture.

I remember all my friends inviting me to these thi...

2009-07-06T09:10:27.430-07:00

I remember all my friends inviting me to these things. I hated them then, and I hate them now. My future SIL sent me an invite to hers about a month ago, and so I went and purchased the single most offensive thing off her registry and then sent a nice note explaining that I was in AZ experiencing what it was like to have a REAL LIFE WITHOUT KIDS and couldn't attend her shower ((sniff, sniff)).

Do what I do...the next one of these you get invited to, be the first to purchase the lovely mom-to-be the baby thermometer. Be sure you get the rectal kind just so she understands how truly fun having kids is!

Thank you...this post totally brightened my Monday...

2009-07-06T07:49:46.608-07:00

Thank you...this post totally brightened my Monday morning. I am still laughing, because I rarely find people who detest the "motherhood is sacred" ritual of the babyshower as much as I do. I was particularly horrified at the description of those "games"...more evidence of how having a baby suddenly turns you into a 12-year old moron who laughs at things like baby poop.

When I have been unlucky enough to be forced to attend one of these god-awful events, I find the least offensive non-cutesy item from the registry (another annoyance, the registry: "here's what I want for my baby!") and get the salesperson to go find it for me.

Thank you for the much needed laugh this morning! ...

2009-07-06T06:28:17.213-07:00

Thank you for the much needed laugh this morning! Great post. I feel so incredibly out of it when I go in those stores. I'm sure I look like a fucktard.

I went to a fucking baby shower last month. I surv...

2009-07-06T05:14:41.540-07:00

I went to a fucking baby shower last month. I survived by getting smashed (I had warned them in advance that I would be bringing my own booze) and I wore earplugs all the time. It worked marvels. I stayed in retreat near the kitchen (and the buffet, might I ad). The sound of hens was drowned out, but whenever anyone came close, I could still hear them well, as they had to raise their voice since it was noisy. So I survived. But I made it clear that it was my last ever BS (noticed how baby shower has the same initials as bull shit... coincidence? I think not).

Mrs. Ogre

I forgot to note, they sensibly did not invite me ...

2009-07-03T16:00:38.326-07:00

I forgot to note, they sensibly did not invite me because I live in another province, and they know I don't like crowds of strangers. It would have just looked like a gift-grab, and my niece's mum has better sense than that.

The only person I know who's had a kid is my broth...

2009-07-03T07:58:03.978-07:00

The only person I know who's had a kid is my brother's. They very sensibly did not invite me to the baby shower, and I gave them bath stuff for the kid when it was born. I defy even an infant to outgrow washcloths.

You forgot one of the most annoying parts of baby clothes shopping - finding something that isn't blue and construction-looking, or pink and drowning in frills!

I laughed all the way through this post. It's so t...

2009-07-02T17:30:33.723-07:00

I laughed all the way through this post. It's so true. I actually went to Babies 'R Fucking Us to get my sperminated friend a baby shower gift. And I went to the shower itself (out of sheer obligation) where I was the only one that didn't have a child. (I'm 22, btw.) It was the most uncomfortable, boring, pointless shit ever. But it made me realize how much I love my life and how glad I am to not be in any of those womens' shoes. And may I just say, I completely agree that we deserve parties and gifts for not getting knocked up. I have written about this in my blog. I can't understand why society dictates the opposite; it's just flabbergasting to me.