Comments on Childfree Clique: Back From Turks & Caicos!

1/2 of me never wants to have kids and the other w...

2009-12-14T05:08:58.767-07:00

1/2 of me never wants to have kids and the other wants just one someday but only on the conditions that I get some kick ass vacations first. And I probably will adopt the thought of physically being pregnant makes my skin crawl. Anyway, I am writing because I get what your saying about the guilt. My husband bought me a vacation for Christmas and my friend got a breast pump from her husband. She made it pretty known to me that she is jealous. But I believe another commenter above summed it up "life choices" she chose to get pregnant again and I choose to see all the places I want to see in the world before/if I have a kid. No fucking way would I take a kid to Europe, I traveled enough with my baby sister to know they would not appreciate it and would also damper my fun.

Samantha- This trip was solo for me as well...

2009-12-09T13:15:00.898-07:00

Samantha- This trip was solo for me as well. I had invited my best friend along but we know how that story ended...with her knocked up.

I am actually REALLY glad I decided to go it alone. I think I want ALL of my travel to be solo from now on as a matter of fact. The freedom to go by my own spontaneous schedule and slut it up without someone nearby to judge me was great LOL.

In any case, if you have really specific questions about it, you can email me @ 1childfreechick at gmail.

I'd love to hear more about your vacation! Did...

2009-12-09T06:14:18.006-07:00

I'd love to hear more about your vacation! Did you go by yourself or with friends? I just got back from my first solo vacation to Mexico... it was fabulous, but I think next time I'll do what you did instead of the resort thing. I too had some hot vacation sex - hooray for being single!!

Love your blog!
Sam

I'm CF and my BFF, her husband, and two boys w...

2009-12-02T10:04:12.179-07:00

I'm CF and my BFF, her husband, and two boys went to a 5-star all-inclusive Cuban resort last winter after receiving their massive tax refund. Was I jealous? Hell yeah. Do you think they felt guilty for one glorious, warm, sun-filled second? I'm going to go with no.

Enjoy yourself honey! And post the hot beach sex story! j/k ;)

Just remember, she made her life choices just as y...

2009-11-30T22:42:32.381-07:00

Just remember, she made her life choices just as you made yours. You have no more reason to feel guilty than she does. And here's another thing: parents are just as self-indulgent as we CFers are. They have kids because THEY WANT THEM (or they think they do, or whatever). Try not to let the baby-rabid propoganda get you down. I honestly never feel guilty - scared of getting old maybe, lonely sometimes, but never guilty. It's my life Dammit! I'll do what works for me. Just as people who choose a different path do what's right for them. Keep enjoying those vacations! It sounds like great fun!

Heck, I'm childfree, and I'm still jealous...

2009-11-30T13:59:43.377-07:00

Heck, I'm childfree, and I'm still jealous of your trip! :) Oh well, I just have to be patient and wait until July to move to Hawaii...that date seems so far away, right now.

I don't think the guilt is necessarily a bad t...

2009-11-30T11:54:26.368-07:00

I don't think the guilt is necessarily a bad thing - she's your BFF and naturally you want her to be happy and share in the things you love even though you know she can't because she's married/has a baby, so you feel a bit guilty for getting to do the things you know & wish she could do with you. She's understandably envious, but at least the guilt is a result of your affection & concern for her happiness, not because she's intentionally trying to make you feel guilty on purpose because she's jealous of your lifestyle. That make sense?

It's kind of the same thing with me and my BFF. I'm married, she's single and a steady relationship isn't high on her priority list. She's got a hell of a lot more freedom to travel/meet people/take advantage of personal & professional opportunities than I do, so even though we're also both happy that we're living the lives we want, I feel a little envious of that freedom - and she's a little envious that I've got a good relationship & stable career path. We'll feel guilty about how the other can't necessarily share or partake of the same experiences, but as long as we talk about it openly and don't let that natural envy balloon into petty jealousy & self-righteous snarking, it's ok.

Besides, your BFF doesn't sound like the type of person who would induce a guilt trip because you're free of the burden of childcare and she chose otherwise - but then again, she wouldn't be your BFF if she were that kind of person, right? The greater disparity between your lifestyles will probably take a lot of adjustment, but it sounds like your friendship is already rock solid & you both love each other, so it should turn out fine as long as you both keep that mutual level of respect & concern for each others' feelings.