Comments on Childfree Clique: Stay At Home Motherhood: It Ain't Good For Lesbian...

I also think its unfair to me to expect them to wo...

2011-08-15T08:29:31.165-07:00

I also think its unfair to me to expect them to work to death on some 40 hours or more a week job just to support their jobless wife and kids. It must be very expensive to support a family.

Meh, I've been on both sides of the fence. I w...

2011-03-23T02:59:49.187-07:00

Meh, I've been on both sides of the fence. I was a SAH wife, for about 2 years. My husband supported us both and he paid for my schooling while I went to school. We didn't have a kid then, we do now though. An awesome 9 month baby boy. But now, because of my husband's support I own a massage business. Doing pretty good for myself too, not rich by any means, but debt free, plenty in savings, house paid in full, cars paid in full and so on. I work for myself and I now support my husband while he finishes school. My husband is my best friend and as much as I would love to proclaim to the world he would never leave me, I can't. I don't know what the future holds. But if I decided to be a SAHM, and he deicided to leave. I know, personally, I would be fine.

I mean, I do feel bad for women who honestly expect others to take care of them. I see it as laziness too. But, I don't know, I think there's a stark difference between a woman who expects to be taken care of and a woman who chooses to stay home and raise a child. Just like other women decide never to have children or get married and to put their careers. It's simply that, a choice. And not all the men in the world with SAH wives are going to leave their families either. It's irrational to lump all SAHM's & husbands into the exact same category. How do you know some women are not also going to school or something of the like? I mean, meeting 'many' women who have to go back to work and who you feel are 'unequipped' to succeed, again doesn't mean all women are unequipped. Just like you, I've meet many women who have had to go back to work and are doing just fine. I know a couple police women who were SAHMs, I know a lawyer that stayed home for almost 10 years, I have 2 LMT's that work for me that were SAHMs. I can go on.

I don't disagree with the statistical facts that mother's make less money then non-mothers and SAHM's re-entering the workforce do have a harder time finding jobs, but again, not every case. I think it depends on the woman and her unique situation and her desire to better herself. Some women wont know how to handle doing it on there own or worse they just don't want to, but others would end up being just fine.

I like this blog though. Really makes one think. ;)

Ho-hum. Another dumb skank of a 'celebrity'...

2011-03-21T14:07:36.808-07:00

Ho-hum. Another dumb skank of a 'celebrity' with a sad-sack life story. Wanna cookie?

We're all slaves to *someone*. No, make that a lot of someones. The days where you could live out in the middle of nowhere and not answer to anyone are GONE. See that cop on the corner? Try defying him/her and see what happens. See that pointy-haired nimrod in a suit behind the desk? Try not doing what he says and see how long you're employed. Try not paying your taxes. Try defying any of a hundred different authority figures I could name and they will make your life a million times more pathetic and miserable!

Life in modern society means kowtowing to others. Get. The Hell. Over it.

BTW - I'm an unmarried, CF male, so kindly save your meth-fueled anti-mother rants.

Hey Childfree Chick, where did you go?

2011-03-12T15:43:27.990-07:00

Hey Childfree Chick, where did you go?

"even you must realize that your money you wo...

2010-08-02T05:47:38.419-07:00

"even you must realize that your money you worked so hard to save could disappear"

So can your master's... sorry, I mean 'breadwinner's money, and then what will you do with your dated (if any) skill set and that big black hole on your resume? Other than hoping some other poor sap will pay your bills and then pray he doesn't kick the bucket before you do.

Who's your daddy?

Damn fucking straight! I'm glad my parents (BO...

2010-08-02T05:37:38.176-07:00

Damn fucking straight! I'm glad my parents (BOTH of them!) hammered this into my skull from age three, so I won't end up like my sister's MIL who can't leave her douchebag husband because she has zero money and (recent) jobexperience. No matter what happens, I'll always be my own woman and nothing could be more rewarding than that.

This is made of so much WIN.

2010-08-02T05:29:10.899-07:00

This is made of so much WIN.

Indeed. Scary thing is, she's into the Quiver...

2010-07-21T06:32:18.945-07:00

Indeed. Scary thing is, she's into the Quiverful movement and thinks that it's a wonderful thing. She has no concept of the burden of her lifestyle choice on taxpaying society or the health service. No concept that when, on the rare occasion, she does take her four kids out and they begin having tantrums that it's unfair on other people. That she expects help and pity from the general public when she "struggles around" with her four screaming kids and enormous pregnant body. And she wonders why her relatives have started to distance themselves from her as her gaggle gets ever bigger.

The weird thing is, she actually has midwives and a doula at her births but won't let them touch her. I really don't get that. She just seems to make them stand by. What is going to happen when something goes wrong (I can't see it being an "if", more a when) and she won't let them touch her? It's all going to end badly, badly I tell you!

I remember many years ago when I was part of a society of people who were chronically ill. So many of them openly admitted that they didn't want to become healthy again because they would then be required to become fully fledged members of society and actually do something worthwhile. That idea scared them shitless. It seems that it's the same with many women - having some kind of societal responsibility is not something they're willing to do. Paying taxes? Pah! Being a role model for young girls' achievements? Pah! Have a kid and everything will be okay. What scares me the most about this particular woman is the completely self-imposed social isolation. Her kids are going to grow up without any social skills at all because they won't know how to handle people who aren't exactly like them. I'm not autistic but I rate pretty high on the spectrum, and I would love to meet these kids when they're teenagers and see how they cope with people they've never experienced before.

It's going to end badly, badly I tell you!

shit, I may have a kid one day but SAHM, never! I ...

2010-07-19T01:32:57.196-07:00

shit, I may have a kid one day but SAHM, never! I don't bust my ass to work my way up to a phd to be a sahm, blech! If I have a kid it's ass is going to daycare and for those that claim they are sahms because daycare is so expensive...it's called go to college first, pursue YOUR dreams, then maybe have a kid.

Wow. Just wow. On and off topic- I am the child o...

2010-07-18T14:03:20.664-07:00

Wow. Just wow.

On and off topic- I am the child of someone who was a stay at home mom. My mother did not work until my sister and I entered school. And she has a miserable marriage. My father has treated her like shit for so many years and due to being financially dependent on him for so many years, has never left him, even though she wants to. As my sister and I got older, she repeatedly told us, make something of yourselves. Do not be like her and ever rely on a man and make sure you can leave your husband if you ever need to. My grandmother has an almost identical story. Both of them were raised in a time period where women were expected to basically be slaves to men. It is sad that their lives are like this. My mom's words stick with me every day.

Women today should not be in this same position.

I went through a bad time a few years ago that I still have not quite gotten through yet and I decided a year ago, that my goal in life right now is to be self-sufficient. Finish college, get a decent job, and be able to take care of myself. I do not want kids and I get enough flack for that. When I tell people what my main goal is and that right now I don't even care if I ever get married, I really get a lot of criticism. Why is it so bad to some people to want to be able to take care of yourself?

"You've handed your power and livlihoodb ...

2010-07-18T12:16:33.494-07:00

"You've handed your power and livlihoodb to someone else because the truth is you DON'T WANT TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. You mention you 'couldn't' make it on your own how sad and pathetic is that and I hope you don't have a daughter to pass this fuckery down to! Your post makes it clear that you arethe type of women who got an education only to kill time until someone wanted to sponsor you, er I mean marry you."

God! You ladies here make such great points. As a man who at age 54 is glad to have never been a father, I really have great respect for the women that stand up to be something other than intellectually truncated parasitic baby replicators!

The truth is that this is what preceeds the next step in human evolution.

So good and to the point. Also, I find this funny ...

2010-07-18T11:55:02.620-07:00

So good and to the point. Also, I find this funny as well..

"Lastly, I don't need to defend my "liberal" title to you. I don't advocate women being childlike and "

So many conservatives talk about taking responsibility for one's self, and yet see no contradiction between that idea and women voluntarily abdicating thier personal responsibility in the name of becomming a replicator for DNA.

However, part of this contridiction is because if the trend of not having children becomes even more prevelant, that will also result in a shortage of labor in the future,which means the rich have to pay the working people much higher wages than would otherwise be the case. lol! Yeh! That would be a "catastrophy for our economic system" in which the lower birth rate would improve the labor market, making working people a valued commodity for the first time sinse the Black Death of the 14th century!

That can explain the right-wings apparent intellectual contradiction with regard to the above.

Think of people as individuals instead of people as belonging to groups, except when it comes to deviding people according to thier gender roles, because of the mystification of biology with regard to breeding.

What woman, in her RIGHT MIND, would CHOOSE THAT T...

2010-07-15T04:05:47.968-07:00

What woman, in her RIGHT MIND, would CHOOSE THAT TYPE OF LIFE FOR HERSELF?!! She's out of work, husband out of work, no financial backups, but keep having kids, not to mention putting her life in danger by giving birth without even a doula present to make sure things go right?! That Bible verse is NOT going to help if the baby is BREECH or the cord is caught around its neck or she starts hemorrhaging during labor! WHAT-THE-FUCK-FRICK-FRACK-FUCKITY?!! '

It sounds like she's fallen into the Quiverful Movement or something and is hoping that if spoots out enough brats,. that TLC will call her up and give her a "reality" show. Hey, it happened for Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar, and even Nadya Suleman got a little notoriety out of having tons of kids, so why not? Very sad and scary how some women INTENTIONALLY fuck up their own lives that way.

Hey, Girl! Life is treating me very well these da...

2010-07-15T03:59:55.585-07:00

Hey, Girl!

Life is treating me very well these days! I'll be giving you a buzz this weekend. :)

I agree - if she doesn't care, why is she here? I don't get the mentality of coming onto CF sites to say how WUNNNERFUL parenthood is. NEXT! LOL Jealousy, thy name is GirlWolf75. LOL

Allow me to break down the difference with being a...

2010-07-13T20:37:52.956-07:00

Allow me to break down the difference with being a stay at home mom and being employed:

-Those of us who work for a living have our benefits spelled out for and delivered. Unlike breeders who cross their fingers hoping YEARS from now they will luck up their kid does something beneficial for them.

-Unlike breeders and the enslavement of parenting when those of us who are employed feel disrespected, underpaid, taken for granted WE have the option of quitting. Our friends and families not only applaud us for standing up for ourselves and leaving a bad situation, they help us in searching and securing a new gig. What do parents get? dirty looks, dismissal, and contempt if they even say the job of parenting is no longer for them. Being an unhappy breeder simply means you are expected to tolerate and accept SHIT UPON SHIT, UPON SHIT! Unlike the employed YOU ARE STUCK. No one applauds you If you decide to walk away, you get no celebration at the nearest bar. No one is helping you network to move on. Instead you bitch and back pedal if you dare,then you grit your teeth and pretend being an unpaid domestic is rewarding and worth it because afterall you bought into the bullshit that it was all family portraits, hands on parenting from the hubby and sing-a-longs.

-The fact that WE actually get paid for our services is not just empowering IT IS POWER. I don't have to ask permission to buy shit. Because I am a grown woman MAKING my own money and living as an adult. Meanwhile, you and others like you are just grown children pretending to be adults. You've handed your power and livlihoodb to someone else because the truth is you DON'T WANT TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. You mention you 'couldn't' make it on your own how sad and pathetic is that and I hope you don't have a daughter to pass this fuckery down to! Your post makes it clear that you arethe type of women who got an education only to kill time until someone wanted to sponsor you, er I mean marry you. There are women living on less than minimum wage who pay their bills, care for their kidsand live independently without having to play 'Simon Says' and 'Mother may I' with the sole finanical provider.

Now that I've rinsed my mouth of the vomit aft...

2010-07-13T19:57:30.977-07:00

Now that I've rinsed my mouth of the vomit after reading Tammy Lynn's fantasy for ever after that turned to blinding reality:

This is a perfect example of an awful truth that even in 2010 women must accept raw with no sugar coating: being subservient to anyone, for anyone, man woman or child when you are an adult not deemed mentally retarded is a God Damn ((((( TRAP!!!!! ))). Now if you are into the martyrdom type shit and/or are an emotional masochist then making that compromise is like a pig in slop BUT if you aren't you are setting yourself up for being taken for granted, feeling under appreciated, switching roles from being a care giver/parent one instant to being treated like an incompetent dependent the next!!!

It never ceases to amaze me how women relinquish their power and instead of holding themselves accountable they, hide behind the "I did it for love" as if it absolves their weakness and stupidity. And sympathy will be lavished on her because she did it for the 'chirren'. Puh leeze, she wanted to be taken cared of. Living in her world of romantic delusion, she thought she had it made and allowed her survival instincts, common sense, business and sense of self period to fall to the wayside and now she's been Bitch slapped by reality. Hmm, I say she let's it burn and allows herself to feel it in her mind and to her core in hopes that she learns the real life starts when the story ends with "....they lived Happily After!

I have seen far too many women recently (this year...

2010-07-13T16:05:15.893-07:00

I have seen far too many women recently (this year alone) who have succomed to SAHW and SAHM and I am truly baffled. Well, the mom has a masters degree and specialty advanced credential, 10 years working experience and just gave it all up to be a SAHM...WTF? I cringe to think that she will have to re-enter the workforce and realize just how much she fucked up by taking that time away...I hope things work out but fear for her having a tough time. The SAHW decided that after she finished a degree in English (which she admits she has no intention on using) quit her job 6mo after the wedding to be a "lady of leisure"...OMG! Its a matter of time before she becomes a mommy and then she will become even more vulnerable.

I could never rely on another human being and since getting married and having children are not on the "achievement" list I dont ever plan to rely on a man to support me...I honestly think I would rather not live at all. Asking for money from a man to buy tampons...FUCK THAT!

I know a woman who has been a SAHM for almost five...

2010-07-12T05:47:34.707-07:00

I know a woman who has been a SAHM for almost five years. She once had all of these dreams of being a nurse, was almost through all of her training when she just decided to have a kid, and that was the end of it. She's now pregnant for the fifth time. Her Husband's unemployed (for the second long time in a couple of years) and doesn't seem to be looking for work. They have loans coming out of their ears and children that she admits she can't control - so they're having another one. She admits she doesn't know what she'll do with herself when she can't have any more or when they leave home. She insists on homeschooling them all and can go weeks without leaving the house. And I just don't get it.

She went from a woman who seemed fairly balanced and wanting a proper life in the real world to wanting 10+ kids, refusing to leave the house or let her kids out of her sight. She recites bible verses while giving birth, refuses medical help during pregnancies/births despite knowing that there are some high risks to her and her kids. I just see it all ending badly one day. One day her Husband won't be able to get a job for a little too long, and their families won't be able to help them out, so what then? They have no financial back ups, no pensions (or 401k equivalents) planned. They have nothing, but she's happy with this and I don't get it. I was unemployed by choice for a while, but now that I've got a job, as unsocial as the hours can be I wouldn't have it any other way. I love the fact that I can spend my money on stupid things like video games or holidays. I love that I go out of the house regularly and meet loads of people and visit shows or events when I want to. It just baffles me how someone can go from wanting to be out in the big wide world and be free, to being satified with 4 walls and absolutely zero money to live on.

straight, no chaser

2010-07-11T20:40:37.295-07:00

straight, no chaser

I'm out of the job market because I'm disa...

2010-07-10T11:48:05.387-07:00

I'm out of the job market because I'm disabled, and I know how vulnerable being reliant on others can make you. I get £50 a week ($75), and in my area, the average rent for a studio flat is £80 a week. I can get rent allowance, but most landlords won't accept it, so I'm stuck living with my parents.

I don't know why anyone would actively choose to be this vulnerable, financially speaking. If my parents go bankrupt, I'm screwed, and given how they're self employed with a failing business, it could happen. People who want to be 'kept' are really idiotic.

Haha...Hey Ms. V! How's life treating ya sis? ...

2010-07-08T19:48:39.766-07:00

Haha...Hey Ms. V! How's life treating ya sis?

Yeah...the whole "I don't give a shit" in the first comment was her first mistake. You don't visit people's blogs just to bitch about their perspective and tell them that you "don't give a shit" about the subject matter they've chosen to write about.

If you "don't give a shit" and "have a problem" with what's been written (because it applies to you being a loser), saddle up and ride the fuck out.

But...I guess I should be understanding...what more can we expect from a grown woman who NEEDS a man to take care of her because she CAN'T cut it on her own.

CF, I give that two snaps, a shake and a twist and...

2010-07-08T19:36:54.145-07:00

CF, I give that two snaps, a shake and a twist and a roundhouse Billy Blanks Tae-Bo kick!!!!!

Seriously, how was I rude in my first post? You su...

2010-07-08T19:16:25.590-07:00

Seriously, how was I rude in my first post? You sure seem to have an awful lot of anger for someone who claims to love their life so much. If you really thought life was so grand, then you wouldn't be spewing such hateful comments toward me, especially since I was not rude to you. I merely disagreed with that you were saying, and I explained why. You clearly have issues of some sort.

Yeah...you didn't hit shit, you just needed to...

2010-07-08T17:32:53.425-07:00

Yeah...you didn't hit shit, you just needed to get told the hell off like most of the stay at home idiots who come here talking crazy. I take pleasure in it, it doesn't hit a nerve with me at all. I know what I have going on in life and it's better than wonderful.

And this was never about "security". It's common sense that almost no one has true security, hell even billionaires can go bankrupt.

This is about how stay at home wifehood and motherhood makes women uniquely, and unnecessarily vulnerable. Much more vulnerable than someone like me, who while still vulnerable to catastrophe, isn't nearly AS vulnerable (or as dumb and guillable) as people like you.

I'm sorry you failed at life and need a man to care for you but your attitude was fucked up (and rude) from jump when you left the first comment here so I have no sympathy for your current state. The next time you read something on a blog that you don't enjoy, my advice is to click the big fucking red X and see your ass the fuck out.

You can save the rest of your keystokes too because this was your last comment on Childfree Clique. I blacklisted you so the next time you type and hit "submit", your BS will fall right into oblivion where I'll never see it. ;-)

Now...I think you have some dick to suck and some dinner to cook don't you? Your financial state and the roof over your head likely depends upon it.

BTW, I don't know what you're talking abou...

2010-07-08T15:28:07.543-07:00

BTW, I don't know what you're talking about. I've never commented on this blog before, so I'm not a troll, but nice try. It seems I've hit a nerve, though, so you might want to think about that....after all, even you must realize that your money you worked so hard to save could disappear tomorrow. There's no such thing as security.