Comments on Childfree Clique: Check Out This Podcast!

CF men (and people) are rare across the board but ...

2009-07-28T10:40:39.312-07:00

CF men (and people) are rare across the board but one of my baby hater girlfriends has been in a relationship with a baby hating black guy for years. Her boyfriend actually got a vasectomy recently so he's dead serious about his CF lifestyle. So take heart, there are some CF black guys out there. That said, baby haters are so hard to come by, I'd keep the racial options open and just try to find a fellow baby hater of any color.

Of all the men I ever dated, CFC, the black men an...

2009-06-30T23:35:32.289-07:00

Of all the men I ever dated, CFC, the black men and the Xicano catholic men were the most adamantly opposed to my CFness.

It wasn't till after I chose my partner (many years ago now) that I met two black men who also decided not to breed. I have no regrets, I just thought it was interesting to observe this over time.

One of the men had siblings with kids they neglected, and he put his time in as an uncle. The other had no interest in kids, and a whole lot of guilt out of pressure from his family and his community, regarding the large degree of male absenteeism in so many black families. Plus the guilt pressure resulting from the fact that black families have been such a bulwark against social oppression.

Both men were, interestingly, skilled tradesmen. They worked very hard for what they had, and the "seed" they wanted to spread was their work skills (the one with no interest in kids taught part time at a tech college). Both were delicious, interesting, gorgeous, well-read, cultivated men, just non-degreed. Just like my partner.

YKYM

You are echoing what one of my best friends says! ...

2009-05-20T13:46:26.222-07:00

You are echoing what one of my best friends says! She's Caucasian but married to an African American man. She says (same as you) that black men, by and far, want to "spread their seed"...as "proof of their virility and masculinity, as well as a validation for their ego.

It IS unusual to hear a black man advocating women to not have kids! I think more importantly, there are a lot of people out there having kids without the faintest idea of how to care for them and without the resources necessary to care for them. If you can't feed em, don't breed em!

Thought you might also be interested in this NPR s...

2009-04-02T13:56:00.000-07:00

Thought you might also be interested in this NPR story about the quiver movement. Another bunch of nuts... I'd love to hear Childfree Chick opine.

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=102005062

Was that census info comparing black women in gene...

2009-03-31T09:05:00.000-07:00

Was that census info comparing black women in general with never married white women, or women of both races with the same marital history? It's not very clear. If it's the former, it seems a bit dodgy, statistically.

But yeah, most men love the idea of fathering babies and having someone else take care of them, regardless of race, although in the US it seems to actually happen more with black men. And it's curious that, for all the stereotypes of women with baby rabies, it is more often the case, IMO, that it's the men who pressure the women. Hmm...The people who want the babies the most are the ones who, realistically, won't be the primary, or even secondary in a lot of cases, caretakers. There's a lesson in there somewhere...

Great podcast! Loved it, if only my mom could und...

2009-03-28T15:21:00.000-07:00

Great podcast! Loved it, if only my mom could understand English I'd have her listen to it, since hearing the argument from me doesn't seem to have made such an effect yet. I'm an only child so probably pressure is worst in this case, and I suspect my mom would have wanted to have more kids than just me, so she projects her own desires on me (but not that much yet), like a soft version of those parents who get their kids into stupid sports team or music instrument classes or foreign language camps because they can't do it themselves.

Concerning guys, I find it interesting that here white guys are widely thought of as not wanting kids. Guess what, it's a big lie because they tell you what you would expect to hear from a guy (don't want engagement, no responsiblities..), but they want kids for whatever mysterious reasons. But when you tell it to them, *dramatic music plus zoom on horrified eyes* they're totally shocked, is it because they expect you to want kids or they're shocked they'll never have any kids with you, or they just think you're a lesbian because they're idiots?.. Probably a bit of all these reasons, but mostly the first two.

Oh, I haven't dated only Black men. There have bee...

2009-03-28T13:10:45.098-07:00

Oh, I haven't dated only Black men. There have been Hispanic ones as well (Mexican and Cuban) and lately I find myself attracted to cute Middle Eastern ones too.

Just remember: you don't have to date a black ma...

2009-03-28T09:37:00.000-07:00

Just remember: you don't *have* to date a black man, childfree chick. Life's too short to only sample one flavor! Rrrr!!! *sexy wolfwistle*